“Oh, sure.” I still can’t place him but at least I know the reference. Ceecee runs threesomes on request, mostly with a female partner but on occasions she’ll tag team with a male.
Since his face looks friendly enough, welcoming a chat, I gesture towards the board. “Have you ever placed an ad on one of these? I’m not sure of the etiquette.”
“No, but I get most of my work by answering them. What’d you looking for?”
“A male partner for a scene.” I shift my weight, figuring out how much to say. “It’s like a cuck scene, I guess.”
Like that but so much more.
The fear that grips Trent disables him, cutting him off from such a pleasurable part of his life that I could weep to think he’ll never experience the simple and oh-so-complicated play of emotions, thoughts, and sensations that feed into a good sexual encounter.
I want to free him from the crippling anxiety but there’s more layered beneath. There’s as much satisfaction in the idea of Trent being restrained, of watching him watching me, finally seeing me the way I was desperate for him to, back on the day he first knocked on my door.
The pleasure of his eyes on me, the growing intensity of his focus, darkening as his pupils swell, smouldering with carnal desire. His gaze locking to mine while pleasure floods my body, wrists straining at their bonds.
I crave the visual temptation of seeing his cock fatten, straining upward in a decadent display of lust; want to watch the pulse tremble along his length as he comes, as his seed pumps and arches in creamy ropes from his body, as he comes just by watching my display, the centre of his voyeuristic attention, imagining the hands on me his powerful hands, the cock inside me his thick cock.
My eyes break away from the board, seeking refuge from my sizzling thoughts in the safety of the black and white tiled floor.
No matter what other desires stir within me, it’s a job. A contract with parameters and rules and safety nets and boundaries.
“Yeah?” Andy says, arching his eyebrows and that sensation of being judged flickers at the edge of my mind again. “Any physical requests?”
“No,” I answer but realise I never even bothered to ask Trent. He might have very particular preferences and the query should have been automatic.
My head swims for a second, awash in too many responsibilities, too many options, too many fears. The overwhelm steals my breath, the back of my throat aches with sadness.
I thought I had this. I thought I had everything lined up, each demand relegated to its own wee box.
Now everything’s spinning out of my control.
But this. This is something I can do right. Even if someone is judging, I can still make the right call and get at least one part of my life back on track.
“It’s not about the male, then?” Andy asks, leaning his shoulder against the wall and finger combing his long hair back from his face.
He must be in his early thirties, old enough for me to feel comfortable that he knows what he’s doing. I relax a little, my shoulders loosening enough that my posture slackens.
“No. Except as a proxy, I guess.”
“No male-to-male contact?”
I shake my head.
“And when is this happening?”
A smile breaks free, and I laugh. “Whenever I can find someone willing to help. Why?” I arch my eyebrow. “You interested?”
“For sure.” His gaze travels back to the board, scanning the notices, most of them warnings or reminders on how to be safe. “What’s the pay rate?”
Since it’s Trent’s money, I can afford to be generous. “Five hundred and it’ll be less than an hour from prep to completion.”
He whistles softly, eyes scanning me again, then wandering around the small area set up like a lounge so visitors can stay, relax, and chat rather than just wait for appointments then go.
I try not to look needy. A bit late since I’ve already outlined that I have no idea what I’m doing.
But this would be a godsend. Since Ceecee’s already vetted him, all I’ll need is a clean test card and we can set the whole thing up right now. One massive strikethrough on my to-do list and I can move onto the next with the radiant glow of achievement.
“At your place in Sydenham or is it a private home visit?”
