My stomach clutches so badly I come to a halt, instantly ensuring that another dozen students turn my way.
Then Seb is behind me, taking my sweaty palm in his warm, dry hand. The touch feeding me his strength, his confidence. When he leans over to kiss my cheek, he whispers, “You okay?” waiting for my nod before he leads us to a table in the corner, raising his eyes so another boy heading that way turns in search of another seat.
“You want muesli, peaches, and yoghurt, yeah?” he checks, earning a flutter that he not only noticed but filed the information away for later retrieval.
At my nod, he strides across the floor to the counter, Rowena staring after him with open amusement. “I’ll have the same, Seb, thanks for asking.”
He turns to walk backwards for a few steps, laughing and giving her a wave.
“Okay,” my friend says, taking the seat beside me. “Perhaps he’s not such a giant dick, after all.” She twists her mouth in amusement, before adding, “Or is that the attraction?”
I curl my shoulders against the prickles stinging my back and dredge up a smile. She bumps her arm against mine, briefly letting her head fall onto my shoulder before she shifts to sit opposite me instead. “Once the food gets here, I’ll race you to see who can eat the quickest and get back to our rooms for a break before class.”
“You’re on.” Since she recharges with people the same way I do with a good book, I understand this is purely for my benefit and I love her for it.
But when Seb staggers back to the table, overloaded with breakfast foods, I don’t mind staying. It’s a pleasure to take my time, watching as he inhales an avalanche of protein.
Even Gareth looks taken aback when he joins us. “Now that’s the way to use a scholarship,” he wisecracks halfway through the meal. “An entire pig’s worth of bacon.”
Seb’s leg tenses slightly against mine. My guilt engine, always tuned to high, recognises he’s filling up now, so he doesn’t have to waste his money on lunch.
I jump to his defence without thinking. “You don’t think he can make a sex tape fuelled solely by carbs, do you? That’s eight inches of pure protein.”
G looks startled that I’m speaking at all, then bursts into agreeable laughter. “So that’s the secret to becoming well-endowed, is it?” He jumps to his feet. “Back in a moment,” he calls over his shoulder. “Just adding an extra inch to my plate.”
While Seb snorts with laughter, he slides an arm around my waist, giving me a squeeze in thanks.
There are so many things I’ve taken for granted for so many years, it’s a shock to be presented with the stark difference my family’s wealth makes, even at such a basic level.
I wonder how he’d feel if I told him I envied his inheritance far more.
Not just his physical attributes, though being so good at a sport you can turn it into money seems like magic. But that also takes hard work, hours of training on the field, in the gym.
His easy manner and ability to form friendships is the talent that makes me most jealous.
That and the natural leadership. How he influenced the kid earlier to take another seat just by glancing at him. I don’t have the slightest idea of how that even works.
I tense slightly as Seb’s attention moves from G back to the table. I’m waiting for something more, a barbed remark, a snide threat, but when he glances my way, his face is a study in adoration.
Something shifts inside my chest, making my cheeks flame, making it hard to breathe. I push aside what’s left of my plate and grab my water glass, draining it in a few gulps.
The more I insist to myself this can’t be happening, this isn’t real, the more it feels like I’m wrong.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
SEB
As we walk backto our rooms after breakfast, Esme might as well wear a sign declaring her doubt, she has her hackles set so high. I can’t blame her but I’m also unsure what I can do.
To bring it up as a conversation seems like a non-starter. She’ll dance rings around me if she’s cornered, her mind working at ten times the speed of mine.
Showing her is better but I don’t know how long that will take. Especially since I understand the hesitancy. I feel it too. Only a surge of possessiveness and a leap of faith got me over the hurdle.
I hoped, falling asleep last night, that I’d brought her along with me, but two seconds after waking this morning I saw that was wishful thinking.
She’s zipping herself closed again and watching her do it is beyond frustrating. My affection for her is genuine, but it isn’t a battering ram. I can’t use it to break down her walls.
“You’ll be okay,” Rowena tells her while Esme pretends that of course she will be, it’s all water off a duck’s back.
