But it does. My cheeks are already hot with shame, my stomach curling into a fist.
Someone else comes into the room and I screw my eyes shut. I wanted more time, but it doesn’t seem on the cards. Instead, I flush and open the stall, walking outside and washing my hands in the sink for the benefit of my audience.
The moment I push through the outer door, Seb is by my side. “Nice to see you again, FU,” he says with his usual jocularity. “You’ve really upset my pretty new friend.”
“Leave me alone.” My stride picks up speed as I walk along the corridor, barely pausing as I turn to walk into my next class. To my horror, Seb accompanies me. “What’re you doing?”
“As fate would have it, I’m also a history buff,” he says, giving an eyebrow raise to the other members of the rugby squad in the room. “You’re still a swot, aren’t you? The least you can do is let me sit next to you and copy your notes from class.”
“You don’t need notes. It’s all online.”
I slide into a seat with another student already occupying the other half of the pair. But at a jerk of Seb’s fingers, the girl scurries to find another desk. I try to follow her lead, but she glares at me, so I sink back into my seat, resignation settling into my bones.
My phone beeps again and I curse under my breath, digging it out to turn off when Seb steals it, vacating the seat he just commandeered and moving two rows away into another spare just as the teacher walks inside.
I freeze. Unable to work against the imperative to obey authority, I stay in my seat. Seb glances across at me, raising his eyebrows, lips curling with amusement at my expense.
Great. To think I wasted time worrying about the woman who works at the chemist when I could have been worrying about this instead.
I open my laptop as the teacher begins the lesson, following along with a mind so dazed it’s barely there.
By lunch, he’ll have spread news about my disease around the school. By dinner, he’ll have turned Rowena against me. By the end of the week, he’ll have demonstrated to anyone with a malicious streak exactly how easy it is to come at me with no repercussions.
Ten months of freedom. It was a nice break.
The teacher taps the side of my desk, leaving behind a pocket pack of tissues. It’s only when I frown at them, I realise a tear is trickling down my face.
There’s another option. You can stop acting like you’re beaten before you’ve started and take advantage.
The stray thought makes me frown. Take advantage of what?
People saw him in the clinic with you. They’ll believe he gave you the STI. He won’t want to spread that around.
I sit up a little straighter, enjoying this tangent even if it seems assured it’ll soon run straight off the road.
Rowena’s infatuations never survive longer than a fortnight, a month at a stretch. You’re already ten months in. She won’t choose a casual fling over you.
Maybe. I rub at my throat where the muscles are still clutching, waiting until they soften before I clear it.
She especially won’t when he can’t even have sex with her; not when he’ll have to wait to find out the results of his own test.
A smile takes hold and I turn to stare out the window. Wherever this new voice came from, I like her style.
It came from getting away from everything you hate for ten months solid.
My chin juts into the air. I know how difficult Rowena has found it at Kingswood. A scholarship girl amongst a sea of over-privileged students is its own special hardship.
Seb is the outsider now, the one who’s different. He’s the one who’ll struggle if there’s friction.
I need to give Rowena an explanation, but an understated version of the truth should be enough. We hooked up at the party, just blowing off steam.
Nice, simple, easy.
I take a few brief glances around the room, surreptitiously taking stock of the team members he greeted. Antoine Walker has been trying to get into my pants since the day I walked through the entrance gates. If I dangled a hook, never mind that I’d never fulfil any implied promises, I’m sure he could be persuaded to…
To do what?
Nothing like what Seb did to me but Antoine could practice a little ostracism. Even bring the rest of the team on board. I bet it’d hurt Seb’s performance if the entire squad gives him the cold shoulder.
