Everyone needs a vice.
The girl I hate is mine.
A glance at her watch and Rowena adds, “Esme should be on her way back here. She just had an appointment with her—” she breaks off, blushing and twisting her eyes to the side. “A meeting with someone but she’s due back.”
A doctor? A counsellor? A lawyer? A hitman ready to erase her latest problem if she can come up with a large enough cash incentive?
But Esme still thinks I’m camping on someone’s couch. No need to disabuse her of that notion before time.
“Sorry to miss her again, but I’ve got to get to practice.”
“Sure,” Rowena says, her expression dancing with mischief. “Can’t let you keep holding it all in.” She taps me on the upper arm as she goes past, then turns, walking backwards, keeping me in view as I glance over my shoulder. “Call me when you’re done. I wouldn’t mind a little late-night exercise if you’re up for it.”
* * *
The next fivehours give me a graphic demonstration in the differences between my old high school rugby team and one handpicked for excellence.
I’ve always been one of the larger players; here, I’m among the smallest. The props are both a full head taller than me, shoulders so broad they’re like another species.
My position has always been as a forward, building my game based on my size and endurance. From the start, Coach Welter puts me in the back as First Five-Eighth. A compliment but my cardio isn’t where it should be for the spot. Nothing I can’t fight through, but it’s like I’m pulling against my talents rather than working with them.
The position sticks for all of two practice drills then I’m abruptly switched to Left Wing because my brain can’t translate the altered position quickly enough to run the plays.
By the end of drills, it’s like I’ve stepped into the middle of a foreign sport I don’t understand at all. If it weren’t for the lost expressions on a few of the other players, I’d be worried, but it looks like we’re all knocked out of touch.
“Clarkson,” Coach Welter calls as I step out of the showers, securing a towel around my waist. “Over here for a minute.”
I go, rubbing my hand over the knot in my stomach. “Yeah, Coach?”
“Your gear isn’t up to code. You’ve got the list when the scholarship offer came through, yeah?”
“Sure. Everything on it is—”
“Your stuff meets the technical requirements, but it’s second hand, and you need both hard and soft ground boots. Listen, it can be expensive but there’s a grant. Go shopping, get everything fitted properly, then hand me the receipts and I’ll put them through for reimbursement.”
My chest tightens and my neck flushes with heat. “I don’t mind used gear.”
“It’s holding you back. Even the tiniest increase in individual performance matters when it’s spread across the team.” He pauses, then adds, “I’m not getting at you. I’ve had this same conversation half a dozen times today and I’ll have it another half dozen next week. It only matters to me if I have it with the same man twice. Get it sorted. Bring me those receipts.”
I don’t know what to say so stare at the floor, waiting for it to be over. Feeling embarrassed despite his reassurances.
Feelingpoor.
He grips me around the back of my neck, forcing our eyes level before he releases his hold. “You can be good. I see your work ethic. You need equipment that supports you, not holds you back. Once you make the final team, the sponsorship deal kicks in. Everything’ll be provided from there on in. Branded, too.”
That’s twelve weeks away. A bit too long to fake it and I don’t have the money in my account. I’ll have to ask my mother. She’ll sort it but I worry about the cost to her.
“How long till the reimbursement comes through?” I say, hating that I have to ask.
“A few weeks. If you’re worried about money, I can hook you up with a private supporter who’ll float you, get you anything you need. Kingswood always has parents who’ll pay to pretend they’re part of the action. I’ll set up an introduction.”
I warm to him a little more.
He gives me another assessing glance. “You’re final year, right?”
I nod. “Right.”
“If you make the team, someone’ll ask if you mind being knocked back a year. The school wants to get the most out of their investment and whatever you’re looking for out of this, that should align, too.”
