The only good news I have is that Kai is still on the loose. He might still make his deadline.
I hope he gets everything out of it he needs but, for me, the adventure is over.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
KAI
The momentI pull the vehicle far enough into the bush to be invisible from the road, I cut the engine and bury my head in my hands.
Regret chokes me while my mind replays a dozen different scenes of Nadia. The fear when I pushed into her car, the catch in the back of her throat when she orgasms. Her dancing to the oldies station and singing off-key while making a meal I hadn’t asked her to make.
The way when her laugh lines crinkle deepest, she looks younger. The unexpected barbs in her tongue when she looks like butter wouldn’t melt.
The feel of her body wriggling beneath mine on the ground. The regret of the wrong capture at the wrong time. I wanted so badly to have another chance, another attempt at the fantasy. Now it won’t happen.
Just like her soft voice won’t whisper to me at night. Her smile won’t pour its sunshine over my morning. I won’t be able to hold her close, like a talisman to ward off trouble.
I won’t get to follow directions on how to fulfil her deepest desires ever again.
For a moment, I consider turning the wheel and driving back to her. Let myself be caught because to leave her behind is unthinkable.
If I don’t go to her, right now, the tiny woman who’s spent the past days lighting fires of joy in the darkest corners of my soul; if I don’t get close to her, tell her everything I need to, my heart will literally break apart.
The pain in my chest grows with every stilted breath. It’s unbearable but I bear it for one second, then one second more, then one more.
I inhale and I exhale, and I watch her highlight reel play on endless repeat inside my head.
This is down to me, after all.
This is my sacrifice.
The decision to call in a tipoff to the police had formed overnight. Nadia might have let herself be talked down from the ledge, but it wasn’t fair to keep her with me. Not when there is very real shit she needs to deal with at home.
Those uniformed officers in her back yard are just the start.
The longer she’s with me, the more time they’ll have to delve through every inch of her life. Obviously, there are enough loose ends for her to worry, his body for starters. Her panic at the thought of discovery was very real.
Real enough for her to shoot me.
They aren’t searching for her ex-husband now but give it a week and who knows? The media and public will apply more pressure every day. The cops will want a result, any kind of result, something to prove their worth.
Nadia didn’t hear the report I did. The one where the radio newsreader added a snippet about the mysterious disappearance of her husband after the main story was read.
That was day one.
How long will it take before someone thinks it couldn’t hurt to take another look at the case? Especially since she has a son in prison and the relationship to her abductor is undefined.
Leave it too long and we’ll betwofugitives on the run instead of one.
Josh is no prize, but he’s still her son. It’s not fair to deny her the chance to visit. Not when I upended her life to achieve the same.
Another stab of pain takes my breath away, scatters my focus. I rest my forehead against the steering wheel and wait for it to return.
When it does, I start the car and pull back onto the rough path cutting through the woods, down to the river.
In the short time since I’ve known her, Nadia has put herself out for me already. She weaved a fantastic story for the farmhouse owners, she offered to shoulder the blame for Razek.
She made sacrifices.
