“Says King Kong. And Joshua grew up to be a perfectly healthy specimen.” A shadow crosses her face.
Guilt stabs at me. I’ve been lying to her, to keep her close, to fall in with my plans. She’s revealing her deepest secrets and I’m spouting fibs to get what I want from her. The floor is suddenly uncomfortable, and I stand, walking to the wall and back, shaking out my legs.
“He’s not in danger,” I say, a rather late admission.
Her features pinch together as she glances up at me. “What d’you mean?”
I’m going to hell. That’s assured. The precise details of what I told her are hazy, lost beneath the pile of everything that’s happened since.
“Your son isn’t in danger, the men who visited you lied. Presumably to manipulate you into doing what they needed. I’ve been keeping tabs on him because he’s making a move to take over the prison. Our pack’s been in charge there for years but our hold’s weakening. If I hadn’t been on my way out, I would’ve been among those fighting him… or jumping ship to come alongside.”
She blinks, and it’s like watching an owl, the lids taking their time to wind upward again. “Josh is taking control of the prison.”
I nod.
“MyJosh?”
“Guess he got more of his mother’s spirit than you realised.”
Her teeth sink into her lower lip, the lack of substance making the move instantly vicious. When she releases it with a pop, a deep red line is scored in the tissue. “Why are you telling me this?”
Because I can’t stand the guilt of having tricked you? Not after seeing what you’ve had to put up with in your life already. “Because if you’re only here to save his life, you don’t need to be.”
She curls her knees up to her chest and frowns at me. “Why did you lie?”
“You were trying to escape.”
Her chin juts out. A gesture I’ve seen on her enough to know that this conversation is going downhill fast. I quickly explain, “I wanted you to have a reason to stay, so I didn’t have to force you or keep tabs on you all the time.”
Now her eyes are burning holes in my skull. “You’re lucky that I tried to shoot you with an empty gun, just saying.” She leans over and stabs a potato out of my dinner, eating it slowly before she points her spork at me. “Now, we’re even.”
I nod but my chest is tight, my heart beating like I’ve just sprinted ten times around a running track.
There must be something more; she can’t just forgive me. It’s too easy. I force the words out, explaining the conclusion she doesn’t seem to grasp. “But I’m letting you know, if you really want to go home, you can.”
Her eyes drop to the floor, and she picks at the carpet, which has enough problems without being pulled apart by her fingernails. I focus on that because if I pay attention to what’s happening in my chest or my head, I’ll scare myself more than I am already.
You’re going to see your baby. Focus on that.
The lump in my throat grows and I tilt my head back. It matters. Of course, it does. Ensuring I’m part of my kid’s life is as important today as it was before I embarked on escape plan two point oh.
It’s just that now I have a new impetus. A woman whose memory I should be able to shake off as easily as I’d shake off a light dusting of snow. It’s been two days. A blip.
But I can’t stand to let her go.
“He’s buried beneath a sundial,” she says, her words halting at first, then gathering steam. “When I saw the police on the news, they’d taped off that complete area.”
It’s so odd to hear her talk calmly about the corpse of her abusive husband. She’s lived an entire lifetime, faced her demon, defeated him, cleared up her loose ends, then progressed into the happy-ever-after she deserved.
She’s amazing. A brave heroine, clearing up her messes alone, no need for anyone else.
Nadia scratches at her cheek, causing it to flush bright red against her pale skin. “That’s why I panicked and tried to leave. They must know he’s under there. Why else would they be searching my home?”
“Was there a tent?”
She squints at me. “Like for camping?”
“No, one of those pop-up police tents. To protect scene evidence and stop prying eyes.” I wave my hand, searching for a better explanation but she nods in understanding.
