“It’s sex.” Amusement warms my voice. “Unless you’re trying to get knocked up, enjoymentisthe point.”
“I am not having sex with s-someone who has a g-girlfriend. That’s not how I want to behave.”
The relief is immediate. Is that all?
“You understand Kari and I aren’t really together, right? Not like that. It’s just an arranged thing between our families.” The mark on her neck shines brightly red and I rub it with my thumb, easing away the sharp edges. “We can do whatever we like as long as no one finds out about it. You’re the only one I want.”
“Great. So now, I’m not only pissing off your girlfriend, but I’m also straight onto your dad’s shit list if you break up? No, thanks. I prefer my head right where it is.”
“We’re not…” I trail off.
The words won’t reassure her. How the hell did I pick someone who only colours inside the lines?
“Nobody’s breaking up with anybody. Nobody’s hurting anyone. Nobody’s dad is taking revenge on you, okay?” Her breathing speeds up until I say, “Maybe just calm down?” whereupon it rockets into the stratosphere.
“I can’t calm down. I don’t understand what happened. I didn’t mean any of this.”
She looks dazed and I can sympathise. Seeing her standing in the doorway was like being hit by a truck.
“You can’t… You can’t j-just p-p-p-p…” Her face twists with anger that she can’t express herself. I’ve heard her stutter before, madefun of it the first night, but I didn’t realise shereallystuttered. I thought it was just an excess of emotion, a trickle of fear.
Watching her face contort with a strong tic I grasp it’s more serious than that. It’s torturous to watch her struggle.
I sling my arm around her shoulder, curling her in close, pressing kisses against her hair. Her right hand is against my biceps, spasming so her fingers bend backwards, and I take it between my palms, rubbing until the muscles relax. “It’s okay, you don’t have to get the words out right this minute. We’ve got all night.”
But she pushes against me. “I’m not staying. You can’t just p-put your dick in me without asking.”
The statement is bad enough. The implication lying underneath it is worse, sparking my anger until I feel cold. “I asked you to lift your leg while I was pulling down your underwear. What did you think was happening?”
“Everything moved so fast. I didn’t have time to think.”
All I want is for her to enjoy me the same way I do her. I don’t understand why she’s finding it so complicated.
I move closer to her, and she shifts back a step. I repeat the movement until she’s flat against the wall, eyes cast down, hands raised to fend me off. “You’re the one who came to me. I didn’t force you to do anything.”
When she finally glances up at me from the floor, she looks exhausted. Deep circles are ground underneath her bloodshot eyes. She must have splashed water onto her face in the bathroom because tendrils of hair cling to her cheeks like pale seaweed.
I feel a strong rush of anger towards her father. Doesn’t he care about her at all? After what she did for him, why isn’t he looking after her better?
“You h-have a girlfriend.”
I push the thought of Kari away with a flick of my fingers. “Asked and answered. What does it matter to you? Do you think if Kari disappears, we’ll trot up the aisle tomorrow?”
“No.”
“Then why does it matter?”
She cups her elbows and I notice how badly she’s shaking. It looks like she’s talking herself out of being here the same way she talked herself into coming and I hate to see her do it.
I take her into my arms again, but she struggles to get free. “Let me go.”
“Why? It’s just a hug.”
Her mouth twists. “Because I can’tthinkwhen you’re s-s-standing close. You’re messing with my head.”
The answer upsets her but inside, I’m overjoyed. The sentiment echoes my reaction to her. “Why do you need to think? It just gets in the way.”
George takes a few calming breaths, closing her eyes while counting out her exhalations, then opening them to stare at me. “Kari told me if I went out with you again, she’d hurt me. Does that sound like someone who thinks you’re a fake boyfriend?”
