Except the thrill of the chase, the lust for power, the satisfaction of being top of the heap.
“I’d start with how your behaviour isn’t acceptable, but I guess you know that already, otherwise you wouldn’t subject us to this appalling display.”
“Don’t look at me. You should have a word in Soren’s ear about keeping his daughter in line.”
My father’s hand slams onto the wall next to my head. Palm only but I flinch, giving him even more advantage than he had already.
“If you want pointers on how to keep Kari under your thumb, I’m happy to help.” His eyes glitter like polished onyx, their darkness absorbing everything. “Didn’t our session breaking-in the last girl give you any pointers?”
Bile rushes into my mouth, my soul drowning in thememories I try so hard to keep at bay. The screams, the cries, the pleas. All of it underpinning the fear that one day I won’t even hear them, I won’t care. Just another cookie cutter copy of my father, my humanity stripped away.
It’s a struggle to keep my gaze level with his. I swallow but it does nothing to throttle back my rage, the lingering pulse of despair that this man is in my life. Not only in it, but guiding it, controlling it, hoovering up what should be some of my best days, leaving nothing but worthless scraps.
I joined a powerful family and outside these walls, that means something. Within its confines, I’m nothing. Completely powerless. At the dictate of this man and his whims.
If I’d known eighteen months ago, this was my fate, I would never have done my deal with the devil. I thought the money and power equalled freedom and by the time I understood the truth, it was too late.
My emotion isn’t hidden well enough because he smiles. The only traces of joy he experiences always taken at my expense.
“I’d offer to tame Kari myself, but I think Soren might draw the line.”
“I don’t need your fucking help.”
“Really. So, her non-attendance tonight was a mutual decision, was it?”
“I found a better offer.”
He pushes away from the wall, retreating behind a large kauri desk, stained so dark it looks burned. I sag forward, breathing through the rage, trying to keep it pinned back so it won’t explode out in all directions, leaving me vulnerable to his next attack.
“You’ve had a lot of leeway this past year while you settle in but from now on, I think it’s best to keep you on a tighter leash.”He picks up a silver letter opener, the blade dull but the tip sharp, and stabs it into the corner of the desk blotter. “Your judgement seems to be sorely lacking.”
The way he looks at me, it’s like he expects an answer, but my mind must be too dulled by booze to track the question. I stare at him with a blank expression while he stabs the opener into his desk blotter, again and again, until I swear I can feel the pinpricks along my back.
Then he gives a nod, finding whatever answer he sought somewhere in my appearance.
“To put a stop to this nonsense before it can escalate, I’m sending you to a training camp. It’s for guards but I’m sure the lessons will come in handy in other walks of life.”
I frown. “What camp?”
“Over in Europe. I’ll send you details when I confirm your placement.”
My lungs are suddenly far too shallow. “You’re sending me to Europe because my date cancelled last minute?”
“Don’t worry. You can finish out the school year as planned, then you and Kari will marry before you head overseas. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the six months apart as much as you will.”
My head spins from more than the copious amounts of alcohol I’ve poured on it tonight. A camp. It’ll be full of men just like my father. Given the spark in his eye, I guess by the time I emerge at the end, I’ll be like him, too.
More than I am already.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Before I can trust you to take over the business, you need a better head on your shoulders.”
“You told me I’d shadow you once I finished this year.”
“Really? Because a few minutes ago you seemed interested in pursuing a career in the performing arts.”
My teeth clench so hard there’s an ache deep in my gums. “It was some stupid fucking small talk.”
