“I want you.”
“You don’t even like me.” The voice explodes up, carrying all the hurt that Zach inflicted with the same words. But they don’t leave a mark on Caylon. It’s like he doesn’t hear that any more than he hears my explicit no.
“You’re all I think about.”
The phrase hammers into me, driving the air from my lungs. Instead of fear or anger, I’m suddenly swimming with envy.
How good would that be, to only have one thing to think about? One person to waste all my brainpower on?
I could laze around all day, wondering how it would feel to have Caylon’s lean body holding me, pressed hard against me, thrusting into me while I stare at that face. Into those eyes.
This boy who made me come just by resting his leg between my thighs.
If this were a game, I’d let him catch me.
If this were a game, I’d be running the wrong way.
But it’s not.
And I repeat the same phrase I tried unsuccessfully before. “You can’t bully me into going out with you.”
“Really?” He arches his eyebrows and lets those beautiful eyes drill into me. “Because I think I can.” He runs his knuckles along the side of my cheek, smiling at the foundation and blush he picks up along the way. “I think I’m just getting started. Pretty soon you’ll be begging me.” He leans so close his voice rumbles into my ear. “I can undo all the harm right now. If you make me wait, I won’t.”
A movement to my side catches my eye. A pupil holding a phone up to take a picture of me and Caylon. A picture he could leak to anybody. Post anywhere. That might be seen by anyone.
Without thinking, I smash the device from his hand.
“Now, now. There’s no need to resort to violence, Em. We all want what’s best for you.” His lips curl into that gentle smile again, warmth crinkling in his eyes. “So long as you understand what’s best for you, is me.”
CHAPTERTWELVE
EM
When I stumble out of the common room, cheeks burning so hard they should come with their own hazard symbol, Dee’s long gone. I hunt along the main corridors, frantic to reach her before the lie can solidify in her head. Chin trembling as I scan the hallways with increasing urgency. Not getting a result.
The bell for class goes and I send her a text, waiting, my hands shaking as I see the three dots appear, disappear, appear… the minutes stretch out until I realise, she’s leaving me on read.
I run to class, barely acknowledging as the teacher lectures me about punctuality. My anxiety keeps me on high alert.
I know Dee. I know how she thinks.
Her natural state is optimistic, happy. The flip side of that is she refuses to entertain anything that could drag her down for long. Ignores anything that doesn’t conform to her worldview until it goes away.
I’ve seen her dump friends before. Observed the quick and painless way she tugs them out of her life by the root.
She never came back to me at the party. That’s what sticks in my head. It got lost under a wealth of other concerns at the time but now the awkward fact reappears. She went off to join her netball friends for a few minutes… and stayed.
Did I get on the wrong side of her happiness equation?
The longer I can’t find her, the more likely it seems. She doesn’t turn up to our shared class. She won’t answer my texts.
I crawl over her social media pages, looking for clues, but there’s nothing recent. She hasn’t blocked me, that’s the good news, but that could be because she hasn’t thought of it. I consider leaving her a message on the apps she uses most, then don’t.
If she’s in the mood to talk, she’ll respond to my texts. If she isn’t, I don’t want to remind her we’re friends in a dozen different online spaces. Watching her walk from the room in real life was hard enough, I’m not treating myself to a repeat in virtual reality.
For most of the day, I manage to sooth myself it’s not too bad. Just a misunderstanding. She knows Caylon’s been on my case for the past week. She’s seen him do it. Surely, she’ll accept the truth when I tell her.
She has to. Walking the corridors of McKenzie High alone is torture.
