“Ew. No.”
She’s still frowning at me, and I don’t know why. “What’s the matter?”
“I could ask you the same thing. You feel like you’re not really here.”
Since I’m far out of view of the street, I feel safe enough to sling my arm around her. “This here enough for you or should I give you a Chinese burn, so you really know I’m present and accounted for?”
“Stick to torturing somebody else. What’s happening with Lily?”
I shrug. Not caring what’s happening with her as long as it happens far distant from me. “Nothing. I lost interest.”
“What’s wrong with Caylon?”
“Hm?” I turn to her with a frown. “What d’you mean?”
“I mean if a cute rich boy asked me out to a movie, I wouldn’t say no.” She pokes me in the arm. “What’s wrong with him? And whatever it is, can’t you just ignore it long enough to take advantage?”
I feel completely lost. What’s happening? “Take advantage?”
“Of his body,” she says with a giggle. “Lucy said he knows all the right ways around the female form without having to ask for directions. Next time he asks you out, if you’re not going to accept, push him my way.”
She appears serious and I can’t think why. All the time I dated Zach, she showed no interest in his friends. Then my frown deepens as I think of how little time she probably spent with them.
“Pretty sure we can find you someone better than that. He’s a robotic psycho.”
“A robotic psycho with eyes you could drown in.”
“More like eyes you could stare into while he drowns you.”
“I’m game.”
I slap her upper arm, bursting into giggles as she pokes her tongue into her cheek. “Or we could find a couple of nice boys like the Bradley Twins. Then, if we get bored, we can swap and make the relationship seem twice as long.”
“Yuck.” When I raise an eyebrow at her, she clarifies, “To the twins not to swapping. I’m down for a nice poly grouping if you are.”
From the other side of the quad, Caylon stares at me. His hair’s too long so it falls into his eyes, easily his best feature. Dee’s right. You could drown in them.
The image of him on the couch, coming down some nameless girl’s throat while he stares at me, floods my senses. Heat pulses between my legs as I tear my eyes away.
The boy barely noticed I was alive before. I don’t know why he’s suddenly fixed on me. Especially now that I can’t offer him anything. Can never offer anyone anything. Not until I get out from under Wilbur Braxen once and for all.
And my thoughts come full circle, the tail end of my giggles drying up so suddenly it feels like they were torn away.
I need to leave. If I stay, he’ll always be able to get at me. Anywhere in the city. He owns half of it and the other half is run by his good friends. No wonder he plays with people. A man with his resources must be permanently bored out of his mind.
He gave me more money than he used to on Saturday. A welcome back bonus maybe but if it’s my new going rate, then it won’t take long to save up enough to get away. Half the cash went straight into the bank so I wouldn’t spend it. My ATM card hides in my glove compartment, safe from prying eyes and sticky fingers at home. If I save the lot, another four or five visits will get me most of the way to serious running away money.
Of course, I’ve thought that before. Instead, I always end up spending the money to make myself feel better. Helping Mum with necessities, knowing she’ll never ask where it came from. Buying myself and Dee clothes and jewellery we couldn’t otherwise afford, doing nothing to correct her misguided impression that I’m dealing.
A lie that fits in snugly with my other typical purchases: a few high-end downers to take the edge off and some nice uppers to kick start my arse.
Anything to spark joy in the darkness.
This time it will be different.
I can see it happening. Can taste the freedom. I’d have to leave my friends and family, but it wouldn’t be forever. Just long enough so Wilbur finds himself a replacement. Someone else young enough to fall for his lies. Greedy enough to take his money.
And what about the images? You know he’s serious.
