Stefan pauses for a minute, then continues, appearing to choose his words with more care. “There weren’t any provisions for Molly, but she has a legal right to claim from his estate. Rather than fight it out in the courts, the executors have agreed to pass his liquid capital on to her, while the businesses keep the rest.”
I nod as though it means something. The rhythmic pull at my breast makes me feel tired and Molly wriggles, picking up on every change in emotion, no matter how tiny.
“Is that all?” My eyes dart to the door, thinking longingly of it opening, then closing again with Stefan safely on the other side.
He shifts in his seat. “It means that she’ll inherit—”
“We don’t want his money.”
Stefan nods at Molly. “She might.”
I want to rebut him but he’s right. She might appreciate getting a leg up in life. We might all breathe easier if Molly has a nest egg to keep her safe from making the same disastrous choices as her mother.
I intend to be there for her, to ensure she doesn’t, but the best intentions don’t count for much when they butt headfirst into reality.
“Fine. Give her the—” I flounder, trying to recall his words. “Liquid?”
“It just means cash. The money he had available in his checking account.”
“Fine. Give her that.” After a second, it occurs to me I’m being ungrateful. “Thank you for thinking of us.”
He gives a tight smile. “Don’t you even want to know how much it is?”
Pretty obviously not. I close my eyes. Centre myself. Open them again. “Sure. How much?”
“Slightly over one hundred million.”
The smile he’s already wearing grows larger while my head tries to grapple with the figure. I can tell he wants me to be pleased but large spikes of anxiety attack me, greying out the edge of my vision and sending my heart into palpitation heaven.
Molly lets go of my nipple with a pop and starts bawling her eyes out.
“Caylon,” I call, my voice cracking as panic takes hold. “Caylon!”
He comes into the room so quickly he must surely have been waiting by the door. My relief is immediate.
Even before he reaches me, standing in front so my view of Stefan is blocked, his industrious hands moving to reassure me that everything is okay, my heart rate settles. He takes Molly from me, burping her gently against his shoulder while he lets me use the other to hide my face.
“I think that’s a long enough visit,” he says once both his girls are settled. Molly spits up all down his back, the sharp tang instantly filling the air. “Maybe if you have anything further to add, come back another time, yeah?”
Stefan stares at the three of us as though we’re stark raving mad. “Okay.” His face crinkles as he looks past Caylon to me. “You know this is good news, right?”
I nod miserably, feeling the panic nibbling away at my self-control the moment I do.
“Another one,” Caylon exclaims as Molly adds a second acidic burp to the first. “What has your mother been feeding you?”
“Pure sugar.” I take one of my daughter’s hands in mine, stroking it with my thumb, wonder in my eyes at how appallingly gorgeous she is in every single detail.
I try to tell him what Stefan said but the words hitch in my throat and Caylon shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. If it’s still worth telling me once you’ve had time to process it, then you’ll tell me later.”
“Okay.” I rest my head against his shoulder for a moment longer, winking at Molly when she blows me a raspberry. “Should we take another look at that list?”
The morning had been spent interviewing a succession of candidates for nanny, a position none of them had been close to good enough to fill.
Imaybehave a tiny freak inside me who keeps screaming that no one is good enough. Not me, not Caylon, not Effie, and certainly not some stranger who is paid to care for her—a thought that literally fills me with dread.
“How about we leave it another day? We don’t have a time limit.”
I let myself be talked into postponing, which luckily fits in nicely with my own ideas. Tomorrow is always a better day to make big life decisions. Today I don’t know enough about anything to trust my judgement.
