“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
She goes still, head tilted as though waiting for a punchline. It’s never going to arrive. There isn’t one. She’s still the most vibrant person in my muted world.
Even if it populates with more colour, goes back to what I once considered normal, that won’t change. I can only imagine she’ll also glow brighter, be even more than she is now, even though that seems impossible.
From the dark choppy hair on her defiantly tilted head to the little toenail on her magnificently tiny feet, there isn’t a single thing I would change.
Well… maybe her past. The things that wake her at night that she doesn’t want to talk about. The information she gave me in the days I held her captive the only confession she’s made. Anything not mentioned is now locked behind her lips, casting shadows over her eyes.
But that change has to come from her. Until it does, I’m just going to continue worshipping at her feet, letting her know that someone will always and forever have her back. No matter how hard she finds her own truths to bear.
I sidle closer to her, taking her into my arms and pressing my lips to mine, attempting to tell her all of that with a single kiss. There’s a lot to pack in there, perhaps that’s why it lasts… and lasts… and lasts…
When I finally pull back long enough for us both to catch our breath, her broad smile makes a reappearance. “You know we’re in public, right?”
“Are you saying PDAs are off the table?”
“I’m saying don’t start things unless you’re able to finish them.”
The idea of a spot of dogging doesn’t feel too unwelcome. Just as long as the windows of the car become completely opaque. I might want to ogle Em’s body for the rest of time but anyone else has the choice of looking away or having their eyes stabbed out of their head.
“Maybe we should head home then,” I say, dropping my head to kiss along her collarbone. That’s so far down, I’m practically on my knees. “I’m driving.”
“You’re on new medication.”
I roll my eyes, linking my arms around her waist and pulling her firmly against me. “There’s nothing about operating heavy machinery in the warning. I read it carefully.”
“Hm. I saw you glance at the box and toss it aside.”
“They’re printed on the label too.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll have to trust you.”
I press another kiss onto the bump where her jaw meets her earlobe. “Definitely. Do you want to stop off for anything?”
“Pickles and ice cream?”
I laugh at the joke reference to my mother’s lectures on cravings and how you should just go with whatever they throw at you. “One of these days, you’ll really mean it and I’ll laugh, and you’ll use that against me.”
“Nice future you’re spinning for us there.” She bumps me out of the way with her hip and gets into the passenger seat. “But don’t worry. I’ve got a dozen different apps on my phone ready to take care of my needs.”
“I hope you leave me a few.”
She pinches her thumb and forefinger together, squinting at the tiny gap as I get into the driver’s seat. “Will this much do?”
“Seems about right.”
I rest my hand on her upper thigh before starting the car, all the things I want to say, to her, to our future, to the baby, choking me so I can’t speak at all.
“Yeah,” she says softly, covering my hand with hers and gently squeezing, reading all the things I’m too tangled to say straight off my face. “Me, too.”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FOUR
EM
Ten months later
My day started shitty and the sight of Stefan waiting by the front door when we get home does nothing to improve my mood. As though picking up from me, Molly starts crying. Caylon turns in his seat and tries to distract her, but the sound burns into my skull like a drill, making my heart pound, throat tighten, mouth go as dry as a piece of burned toast.
