Panic pulls my chest tight, and I breathe in choppy, shallow gasps while my heartbeat pounds, pulse hammering through my bloodstream until my entire body shakes with each rhythmic beat. A vice tightens, squeezing my torso until I’m afraid I’ll black out.
“Sit down,” Micah orders and I comply, the doctor helping me into a seat. “Can you fit her with a tracker?”
The doctor hesitates while another thread of pure fear wraps around my heart, tugging. “You can’t possibly let him do that while refusing to put me on birth control. I’m not a bloody dog.”
Micah pulls his shirt to one side, showing a tiny dimple in his upper arm. “Neither am I but marrying me makes you a target so better safe than sorry.” When I remain tense, he adds, “It doesn’t really hurt.”
I can’t fight both these battles, so I pick one, already knowing it’s hopeless. “It’s not the pain that worries me. Who’s going to track me?”
“Just me.” He holds my gaze for a minute, then drops his eyes. “If necessary, my security team will also have access. That way, if we both go missing, they can come to our rescue.”
He rests his hand on my knee, warm and comforting. “It’s not to keep tabs on you, it’s just for emergencies.” His gentleness sends another pulse of confusion into my already unravelling brain. Why isn’t he angrier with me?
“I can implant one now,” the doctor says, “and if you change your mind later, it’s an easy enough job to remove it. They don’t have to be permanent.”
The idea that I have a choice is laughable. I nod, not looking at either of them. While the doctor prepares the injection site, I ask Micah, “Can I track you, too?”
“Sure.” When his easy laugh does nothing to soften my frown, he grabs a laptop from the table behind him and shows me a screen. “This is me.”
Curiosity takes over and I peer at the winking dot with interest. “How close can it target you?”
“Down to a couple of metres.” He zooms in on the map, the detail expanding to show his exact position on the street, though it has no indication that he’s storeys in the sky.
“What if someone hacks the feed and uses that to target me?”
His frown turns to something more like admiration. “That isn’t going to happen.”
The doctor presses an injection gun to my shoulder and fires it before I can protest further. When he pulls it away, there’s a smudge of blood and a circle of redness.
“Is that it?” I prod at the area, exploring its tenderness, until the doctor wipes the surrounding skin with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball.
“Try not to bump it for the next twenty-four hours.” He applies a plaster to the injection site and wipes down the metal applicator before returning it to his bag. “Anything more?”
“No, that’s it.”
The doctor snaps his bag shut, and Micah walks him to the lift, unlocking it with his code and escorting him down, leaving me alone.
* * *
MICAH
The doctor seems glad to leave the confines of the lift and get back into his car to drive home. Possibly because of the palpable fury that’s been building in me since he started listing Crimson’s medical record.
I stay by the lift well watching until the safety grate falls back into place.
Anger, pity, responsibility swirl around in my head in a sickening mess, until I shout, “Fuuuuuuuuck,” into the empty space.
Hearing my anger echo back to me doesn’t alleviate any of the turmoil sweeping through my brain. I can’t believe the doctor stayed so calm as he read out the list of her injuries.
Not a complete list, either. No. It won’t be that.
That’ll just be the point where her father stopped her access to medical care. I doubt her injuries stopped at all.
I stay by the lift well, working hard to cram all the anger I feel down inside me so it’s not evident to Crimson when I return to her side. The effort exhausts me. New bubbles of rage burp to the surface each time I think I’ve succeeded, leaving me to start all over again.
I press the button, then unleash a furious bout of punches at the door as it opens, denting the aluminium side and making my knuckles swell. I keep thinking of how tiny she is. How fragile. How little force it would take to shatter her into pieces, even as an adult.
That fucker isn’t going near her ever again.
