I wait for her to get the words out. To know once and for all what’s happening inside that beautiful head.
But she jumps topics like leaping from one stone in the path to another. “Sophia said that Meri told her I knew she was going to be kidnapped.” I reach a hand towards her, but she skips sideways, avoiding my touch. “And I don’t have any way to prove I didn’t.”
“But I already know you didn’t.”
“How? And why should I believe you? This could all just be a trap to get the truth out of me and before I know it, I’ll be strung up in the barn beside Emmaline.”
“That won’t happen.”
“Why? You trust Meri more than you do me. You trustedthe nannymore than you do me and look what happened to her.”
I run my hand through my hair, tugging it so the pain can offset my exasperation. “You’re not Emmaline.”
“No. She was someone you had a working relationship with for years,years,and you still did… that to her.”
“Because she was an employee who lived inside my house and performed her role well enough that I didn’t need to consider a replacement. And that’sallshe was.”
“Exactly. That’s far more to you than I—”
“I couldn’t give a shit about Emmaline. She meant nothing to me. Icareabout you. That’s why you never have to worry. You’re special to me. I don’t…” I give a frustrated growl as my words dissolve without forming themselves into the thing that I need them to say. The thing that would wipe this apprehension from her face, this pain from her memory. “That would never happen with you.Never.”
But her face tells me my impassioned speech isn’t registering.
“Just because I like pain sometimes doesn’t give you a licence to hurt me whenever you want to.”
And there it is. Her worst kept secret. The fear hiding behind each intimate interaction. The one I’ve been desperate for her to speak aloud.
To say its name so we can banish its power.
I step towards her because I can’t stand to have space between us, forcing myself to stop at closing half the distance because I also need to show that I respect her wishes.
Anger gnaws at me that someone wounded her so deeply that she’s shaking to pieces in my hallway. I want to stomp through the pages of her history and tear to shreds anyone who would even dare to look at her the wrong way.
My jaw is tight, teeth gritted together, but I force myself to relax, trying for softness as I plead, “Tell me who hurt you.”
Isabelle’s startled glance hits me full on, then her gaze cuts to the side. I step with the movement of her eyes. Not touching but blocking her before she can dash away.
It doesn’t take me long to pull the fractured pieces together, adding context to what she’s already told me about her earlier life. My voice dissolves into bitterness as I name the culprit, feeling an overwhelming sadness that he stains her memory this darkly. “Your coach.”
Her shoulders shake then the tremble travels down her body until her entire frame rocks back and forth.
“Can I touch you?” My voice is soft, wanting to cushion her, but it cracks as I add,“Please.”
At her faint nod, I gather her into my arms. There’s a small stiffness of resistance before her body melts against mine.
“He can’t hurt you any longer,” I tell her as I try to pour my heart into my embrace. A balm to heal her deep wounds. “And I won’t lay my hands on you like that. Not to harm you. Never without your permission.”
The tremble in her body lessens and I thread my hand into her hair, caressing the back of her head, wanting to reach inside and take out every terrible memory, excise all her demons.
“From now on, you’re under my protection.” My shoulders hunch as I speak the words, forming a cage of muscle and bone around her petite form. “Any man—anyperson—who even thinks about upsetting you is going to die. Horribly. Along with every one of their friends and family members. Maybe their pets, too.”
“No.” Isabelle relaxes enough to spurt out a laugh and I cup the side of her face, the other cheek resting against my chest, and drop a kiss on top of her head. “Not their pets. You’ll need to take them to a no-kill centre or find another way to rehouse them.”
“Got it.” My entire being sags with relief that we’re finally tackling this hurdle. Challenging it together. Another part of my soul blossoms as she lets me in to light her darkest corner. “I’ll stack the bodies of them and their entire social circle one of top of the other before setting them on fire, but their cats and guinea pigs and goldfish live in luxury for the rest of their lives.”
This time her laugh is stronger, more genuine. “As it should be.”
We sway together for a few minutes longer and I’m unsure if I’m clinging to her or if Isabelle is clinging to me. When I finally pull back, I tip her face up and wipe away the last remnants of her tears.
