A knock at the window startles me from my contemplative doze a while later. Zach stands outside—who else?—and once he’s seen me see him, he raises the sash and slides into the room, making the awkward transition look easy.
“Why aren’t you in school?”
I shrug. “Could’ve asked the same of you yesterday.”
“I had a job.” He tilts his head to one side. “And I’m not the one desperate to hold on to a place at the shittiest high school in the city.”
His curiosity pushes out at me like a physical thing, and I curl into a ball on my bed to avoid the pressure. It doesn’t work. Within a second, he’s resting next to me, his hands hugging me towards him. I close my eyes, luxuriating in the feel of his body behind me.
No one since Tessa has ever held onto me like this, just to comfort. Even when his penis nudges into my backside, it’s not sexual. He holds me as though it’s as easy as breathing.
“I gave your phone to my sister,” I tell him because to keep the secret a moment longer would curdle my emotions. “Her foster mother had taken her last phone off her and I missed her texts.” When he says nothing, I add, “I’m sorry. I know it was worth a lot of money.”
“I don’t care about the money.”
He plays with my hair, pulling it away from my top ear so his lips can get close enough to nuzzle it. He sucks the lobe into his mouth, tonguing it in a way that shoots excited messages throughout my body. The sigh as he releases it makes my body hum.
“Why do you need to text her? Does she live far away?”
“No, but I’m not allowed to visit.” My breath grows thicker, and my nose runs as I get closer to the truth, to the bigger secret. “We’re meant to have supervised meetings every two weeks, but something’s happened. They won’t let me see her until it’s cleared up.”
“What something?”
I might imagine it, but I think his muscles tense as he asks the question. If he’s shocked by that, things are just going to go downhill.
“They won’t tell me, but it must be related to texting because that’s why they’ve flipped out. But I swear, there’s nothing bad… I didn’t…” My words choke off as my throat closes with emotion. His arms clench me tighter, slightly rocking me, and for a moment I stop trying to talk. I just want to lie here and feel safe.
When I have myself under control, I try again. “There’s a boy who was picking on my sister. Something must’ve happened to him or between them or… I don’t know. They never tell me anything.”
“How can they even do that?”
“There’s some… reasons… from years ago. But I went to court, and they’re meant to provide contact. I don’t understand how they can just withdraw it when they feel like it.”
He’s quiet for a moment and I have just enough time to wonder if he’s overwhelmed when he asks, “Do you have a lawyer?”
I shake my head. “No, I… When I went before, it was someone appointed through the system. Since I’m eighteen now, I don’t qualify any longer and I can’t afford one on my own.”
“First off, you’re not on your own. I’m here. And second,wecan now afford a lawyer or a team of them if that’s what we need.”
“No, I can’t—”
“You can and you will.” He jiggles me back and forth. “I can’t be turning up to school and moping around all day because you’re not there. You don’t want to cause me to become a high-school dropout, do you?”
I give a weak laugh, and he tickles me until I convulse with giggles. “Okay. Fine. Hire a fleet of lawyers and sic them on Oranga Tamariki. Do your worst.”
“Not sure they’re called a fleet, but excellent.” He sits astride me while sending a text, then tucks his phone away, pinning my arms above my head. “I could get used to you like this.”
“What? Upset and costing you money?”
“No. Trapped underneath me”—he leans his forehead against mine, the moment stretching out for long enough that our breaths sync together—“and bent to my will.” Then he steals a quick kiss and sits back, taking my hands with him, the seriousness banished. “What else?”
“What makes you think there’s something else?”
“Because I know you.” The words send delightful shivers running along my spine. “Some government agency pulling rank wouldn’t be enough to divert you.”
“I lost my job, and that means I’ll soon lose the flat.”
“Your job?”
