The thought snaps my head back, his thumb exiting my mouth with an audible pop. My self-disgust is louder than any shout.
Zach stares at me in confusion, and I bury my face in my hands. I should be trying to work out how to leave this room alive and instead I’m… I’m what?
Trying to please him?
Hoping to get off?
This is why Tessa was so good for me. Stopping me from blindly following my needs until I ended up pregnant, trapping another generation into the same cycle. Of neglect. Of poverty. She said no for me until I learned how to say it myself. Sometimes with my mouth, sometimes with a fist.
I scoot back, trying for enough distance to get out of whatever pheromone spell Zach has me under.
“You’re going the wrong way.” He grabs the front of my tee and drags me back into position. My head between his knees. My eyes gazing up at him as he traces the curve of my jaw with his thumb. “Unzip me.”
A cold bolt of fear uncurls in my belly even as I move to obey.
Unzip him? Then what?
My fingers can’t get a proper purchase on his jeans. They’re slick with sweat. I wipe them on my shorts and try again, fumbling with the top button.
He chuckles softly, curving a hand around the back of my neck. “It’s not a puzzle. Do you need help?”
He flicks the button open with one practised gesture, then drags down the zip, his other hand pushing my head closer. His cock is rock hard beneath, pressing up so far that its tip pokes from the waistband of his boxers. An angry shade of red.
“Open your mouth.”
I try. I can’t.
All the spit has dried to a claggy film that glues my tongue to my upper palate. My lips are stuck together, and I shake my head, putting a hand on his knee as I bend away.
“You broke the rules, Lilac. The one thing I asked for and you couldn’t do it. Either you prove you have some use for me, or I’ll have to make good on my threat.”
“You didn’t even make the rules until after.”
“And you agreed to it. You said so. You can’t just back out now.” His head drops lower, whispering directly into my ear. “Or do you want to go to prison? You know, if you want to be punished, there are plenty of other ways to go about it.”
I shove away so hard that I sprawl onto my back. My elbows become hooks that claw at the floor behind me for leverage, moving me farther away.
“Don’t be like that. It’s just a blow job.”
“I don’t… I’ve never…”
I can’t even finish the sentence. My eyes are wide and sharp with the first rush of tears, and I tilt my head back, refusing to let them fall. I clutch my knees close to my chest, staring at the ceiling.
“You’re kidding. You’ve got a mouth built to suck cock and you want me to believe you’ve never gone down on a man?”
“I’ve never done anything.”
“But you’ve been in the system since you were nine. What is that? Some kind of record?” His laughter still holds a trace of doubt, but as he walks over and crouches beside me, it’s also warm. “How’d you manage that?”
I wrinkle my nose at the insinuation. Doubly so because it’s mostly true. “Small tits and a big mouth help.”
This time his laughter is full and genuine, exploding out as his eyes widen in surprise. He pulls me against him, tipping me forward so my hands fall onto his thighs and the top of my head butts against his chest.
He cradles my face between his hands, lips moving to my ear. “And do I get to see these small tits?”
I shake my head, trying not to feel relieved the mood has changed, knowing full well it could easily swing back the other way.
Zach pulls me so my ear is flat against his pecs, heartbeat hammering, and pins me there with one hand while his other tugs at the hem of my shirt. “Go on. Give me a little peek.”
