Nora now had a deeper understanding of the expression ‘caught between the devil and the deep blue sea’. In her scenario, the deep blue sea was actually a craggy cliff face that leaned over a gorge, and the devil was a tight-shorts-wearing lech who went by the name of Trent. She had chosen the rock climbing. Now she was standing at the base of the precipice she was more than a little uncertain about her choices. With a steep cliff above her and a sheer drop to the side of her, she gulped.
‘Stop overthinking it and definitely don’t work out the odds of dying. Just go for it and it’ll be fine,’ said Jay with a smile.
‘Was that meant to be reassuring?’ asked Nora.
‘More motivational.’ He looked slightly hurt. ‘Try and look on the bright side.’
‘I can only see a downside.’ She peered tentatively over the edge at the long drop to the river Wye at the bottom.
Jay stood in front of her. Initially he was a bit too close and had to back up. ‘Look at me,’ he said.
‘Not a lot of choice if you’re going to stand there.’
‘I’m serious,’ he said, changing the tone of his voice and also squaring his shoulders, making him appear a little stern. ‘When life presents you with challenges, the last thing you do is show your weaknesses.’
‘Are you acting?’ she asked.
‘Yeah,’ he said, reverting to his usual gentle demeanour.
‘It was very good,’ said Nora.
‘Aww, thank you.’ Jay put his hands on his chest. He shook his head. ‘We’ve got side-tracked.’ He ran his palms up and down a few inches from his face as if resetting his features and making Nora concentrate. ‘Focus. I’m here for you. Today, tomorrow and every day I’m going to be cheering you on. I know in my heart there’s nothing you can’t do but we all have wobbles and that’s when we shore each other up so that we can take the next step, knowing that someone we trust has our back.’
‘Acting again?’ she asked with a smile.
He shook his head.
‘Oh.’ She was working out what to say when the leader called to get everyone’s attention.
‘Who wants to go first?’ he asked.
‘Me!’ shouted Nora. From somewhere she had found the courage and gumption she needed. She also wanted to get the climb out of the way because the longer she had to think about it and work out death odds, the worse things would get. Like that time at the fairground when she worked out the odds of getting whiplash on the dodgems. By the time she had got to the front ofthe bumper cars line she was petrified, so she’d shared the information with everyone in the queue. Looking back that had actually turned out well because, apart from an irate fairground attraction owner, she had the dodgems to herself and a risk-free ride.
‘You’ve got this,’ said Jay. ‘And I’ve got you.’ This time she knew for certain he wasn’t acting.
Last-minute safety checks were made and Nora found herself staring at a wall of rock. Her heart was thumping in her chest and her mind was full of unhelpful statistics. Jay leaned in and whispered in her ear.
‘This is the bit where you start climbing.’
‘I don’t think I can,’ she replied in a hushed voice. It wasn’t so much that she was matching his whispers or that she didn’t want the others to hear, it was more about her not wanting to admit it out loud.
‘Take a deep breath,’ he suggested.
Nora tried but her breathing was all shaky. ‘My brain is so close to going into flight mode.’
‘I take it you don’t mean when you flick that little switch on your mobile before you jet off to the sun, do you?’
She shook her head. ‘No. This is full-on being-chased-by-a-T-Rex run-for-your-life mode. I can’t do it.’
‘Yeah, you can,’ said Jay. ‘Here’s a little trick I use when I can’t remember my lines. I hum a favourite tune.’ There was a long pause. ‘What’s your favourite song?’
‘I can’t think,’ said Nora. She felt like a computer being hacked. Jay was asking her for information she didn’t seem to have access to.
‘That’s OK. How about we go with “Boom, Boom, Boom” by the Vengaboys?’ Nora spun around. ‘I’m joking,’ he said with a smile on his lips. ‘I think a bit of McFly is what we need. Ready?’
‘No,’ she said, but there was something about the look in his eyes that made her want to try.
She stepped forward and put her hands on the first holds she could see, doing her best to ignore her thudding heart. Behind her, Jay started to hum the opening bars of ‘It’s All About You’ by McFly and she found herself joining in. The humming automatically steadied her breathing and she began to climb.
