‘I’ll have Bruce for the weekend,’ said Nora, double-checking the measurements on the pattern for a man’s jumper, this time for one that had enough space for her dad’s two spare tyres.
‘But then you wouldn’t be able to come too,’ said Jay.
‘I know, but you want to go more than I do.’
‘Very selfless,’ said Renee. ‘But I’ll look after the dog, then you can both go.’
‘Thank you,’ said Jay tentatively. ‘But are you allowed pets at Wrinkly— I mean Brinkley Place?’
‘Kenneth Sturgeon has a sparrow in a cage. He says it’s a pet-shop finch, which is piffle because any foolcan see it’s a sodding sparrow, and Audrey Kennet has a geriatric Persian that pisses in the vegetable patch, and everyone turns a blind eye to those. But you’re right, officially they don’t allow pets.’
‘Bruce is a bit bigger than a sparrow and his bark is louder than a car horn. You’d not be able to smuggle him in,’ said Jay. ‘But it was really kind of you to offer.’
Renee stopped knitting and fixed them with a steely gaze. ‘I could get him in. I know things.’
Jay and Nora swallowed in unison under Renee’s steely gaze.
Renee shrugged a shoulder and went back to clicking her needles. ‘But it’d be easier if I stayed at your place with the dog. Less disruption for everyone.’
Jay scrunched up his features. ‘He’s really big, Renee. He’s more bear than dog.’ Nora wondered if he’d had visions of Renee being knocked over by an overenthusiastic Bruce.
‘That’s fine. I can handle a bear.’
Jay spluttered a laugh but Renee didn’t look like she was joking.
‘I used to work in a pub just outside Romford. They had a bear,’ said Renee.
‘What? An actual bear. Like a grizzly?’ asked Jay, his eyes wide.
‘Big furry black one she was. Ahhh, lovely old Rhani. I didn’t like that they kept her in a cage. Ruddy health and safety.’ Renee shook her head. ‘I used to share a pint and a packet of crisps with her during my break.I had the occasional wrestle with her too.’ She paused her knitting again. ‘And my friend Tippi Hedren had a lion called Neil who lived in the house. The rotter used to take up all the bed and he didn’t like it if you kicked him off. He used to make a right fuss, the snarly pussy cat. So if I can manage a bear and a tetchy lion, then a dog definitely won’t be a problem.’
Nora looked at Jay. He had the usual, slightly dazed expression he wore when Renee was sharing one of her anecdotes. She hoped he was mulling over the offer because Renee looking after Bruce seemed like a good solution. But then, it wasn’t her handing over her house keys to Renee. ‘OK,’ said Jay, nodding vigorously as if trying to convince himself. ‘That’d be great. Thank you.’ He smiled at Nora.
There was a tap on the open door and an older gentleman with thinning grey hair stepped in. ‘Is this the wellness class?’ he asked.
‘It’s usually next door,’ said Renee, ‘but the teacher is off sick. Ironic really. Sit yourself down and have a Piña Colada instead. Welcome to Rafting and Cocktails,’ she added.
20
Nora was having a catch-up with Dixie and bringing her up to date on the goings-on, such as they were, at Crafting and Cocktails.
‘I’ve been replaced by a retired dentist,’ said Dixie, sounding glum.
‘Not at all. He just got roped in by Renee, you know what she’s like. We’ll probably never see him again,’ said Nora. Renee had put forward a strong argument that crafting was all about improving your well-being and known for its stress-reducing properties. Nora wasn’t entirely convinced by Renee’s stance that cocktails were good for you because alcohol contained antioxidants, and antioxidants helped fight the effects of high blood pressure and blood sugar. Plus they also increased good cholesterol and could fend off type two diabetes and Alzheimer’s. Renee had also argued that cocktails frequently contained fruit juice, which she claimed counted as one of your five-a-day.
‘I miss Crafting and Cocktails,’ said Dixie. ‘I might have to recreate it with Arnold.’
‘Who’s Arnold?’ asked Nora.
‘I’ve named the squirrel Arnold Schwarzensquirrel. He was giving off early Schwarzenegger vibes. And naming him makes him seem friendlier.’
‘I’m not sure he’ll be up for crafting or cocktails but I did love the video,’ said Nora, who was curled up on her sofa with a cup of tea. ‘It had loads of likes and views too.’
‘I know, it’s been my second most successful post to date. Someone even said it was likeThe Blair Witch ProjectmeetsCountryfile! I mean, that’s an accolade right there.’
‘When are you moving on?’ asked Nora, mentally crossing her fingers. She didn’t like the thought of her friend taking unnecessary risks.
‘I can’t,’ said Dixie.
