Nora hastily retreated from his manky toes. But she misjudged things and whacked her head on the table again, which violently jolted everything on top. ‘Sorry,’ she said, coming out from under the table to see the mess of overturned cups and spilled coffee.
Hugh was mopping things up with an already dripping serviette. ‘It’s OK. Are you all right?’
‘Yeah.’ She rubbed her head. Images of his fungus-ridden toenails swam into her mind and she retched again.
‘I don’t think you are.’ He looked concerned. ‘Shall I call you a cab or something?’
‘Honestly. I’m good. But that’s really kind of you.’
‘Shall I get more drinks?’ He looked around for a waiter.
‘Actually no, maybe I will head off. But it’s been lovely to catch up. I’m really pleased that you followed your dream of working in computers,’ said Nora, inching her way around the table.
‘It’s been great to see you again too. We mustn’t leave it so long,’ he said, giving her a hug. ‘How about next week? There’s a band on at the Red Lion pub.’ He looked keen.
‘I’ll need to check a couple of things on my calendar,’ said Nora, stepping back and forcing herself not to look down at his feet.
‘Oh yeah, sure thing.’ Hugh tried to act nonchalant.
‘It’s been lovely to see you again,’ said Nora, adding ‘apart from your feet’ in her head. ‘Take care.’ And with that she made for the exit. As she reached the door, something stopped her. She didn’t usually shy away from things. Hugh was a decent person. Perhaps his single status was purely down to the toenail fungus. She felt she needed to step up and tell him. Nora turned around and started walking back to the table. But within a couple of steps she could see that he had sat down, taken off his flip-flop and was now picking at his toes. He looked up and they made eye contact.
‘It’s this, isn’t it,’ he said with a grimace. Nora nodded and tried to keep down the coffee that was threatening to reappear. ‘I’ll get it sorted.’
‘Your feet will thank you and all your future girlfriends will too,’ she said with a smile.
‘When it’s all cleared up, can I give you a call?’
‘OK,’ said Nora, but even without the nausea she still felt that she and Hugh weren’t meant to be.
*
Jay had known that Bruce was a big dog but since he’d moved into Jay’s two-bedroomed new-build he appeared to be at least three times bigger than Jay remembered. They were strangers forced to share the same space and it was going to take them both time to get used to each other. Bruce also had to adjust to a whole new living environment. He barked when the microwave pinged, he howled at the washing machine and he’d buried the robovac in the garden.
Bruce was standing in the hallway barking at Jay– something else he didn’t seem keen on. The sound reverberated off the walls and the dog virtually filled the space. There was no way around him. Jay was tempted to leave him there and pop to Nora’s on his own to feed Oliver but the rescue centre had been very clear that Bruce needed two good walks a day or he would become bored and destructive. At the sight of those teeth, Jay was in constant fear that the thing Bruce would destroy was him. He’d already woken up screaming thanks to a nightmare where Bruce was a werewolf ripping him to pieces.
‘Shhh,’ said Jay. Bruce continued to bark. Jay was starting to get one of his heads. ‘Shut uuup!’ he yelled.
Bruce was momentarily shocked into silence. He tilted his head and eyed Jay afresh. Jay held up the lead and the dog watched him intently as he inched closer, moving like he was on the narrow ledge of a tall building. He leaned towards Bruce. Jay had the clip on the lead open ready. He was almost there. Bruce sneezed. Jay jumped. The dog walked off. ‘Shit!’ Jay’s heart was thumping. ‘Calm down,’ he said to himself. ‘It was a sneeze.’ He was so on edge with this giant beast in the house. With hindsight he really should have gone for the guinea pig. It would have been better to start off his pet ownership small and work his way up to werewolf.
Jay took a deep breath. Women wanted alpha males: strong, confident and fearless. That wasn’t completely out of reach. He strode into the kitchen just as Bruce was bounding out. ‘Bugger it!’ said Jay and he ran back up the hallway to the front door with the hound right behind him. Cowering at the door with his arms over his face, he waited to be savaged.
Nothing happened. Jay peeped under his arm at the dog. Bruce was sitting next to him with his tongue lolling out. Jay slowly leaned in and attached the lead, feeling instantly better. ‘There, you’re not a monster, are you?’
Bruce barked, making Jay jolt and almost drop the lead. He wondered if he’d ever stop doing that.
9
Jay’s plan to kill two birds with one stone by walking Bruce to Nora’s didn’t quite go as he’d hoped. Bruce was keen to go for a walk, which was good, but despite being new to the area, he seemed to think he knew the best route to take. Try as Jay might, he was no match for Bruce’s muscle and sheer determination, so he had little choice but to go on a magical mystery tour. An hour later, an exhausted Jay finally put the key in Nora’s front door. Jay walked in, expecting the dog to come with him, but Bruce was rooted to the path. Bruce looked warily inside.
‘Come on. You were the one who wanted to explore everywhere,’ said Jay. Bruce huffed and lay down. ‘Oh no! Please don’t do that. If you fancy a rest you can do that inside.’ Jay waved an arm up Nora’s hallway in what he hoped was an inviting manner. ‘You could have a nice lie-down inside and I’ll get you a drink,’ he added.
‘Ooh, now I’m tempted, that sounds lovely,’ said a woman coming out of next door. ‘I could do with being waited on by a gorgeous chap like you.’
Jay spun around. ‘Er, sorry. I was talking to the dog.’
‘I figured you were, love.’ She turned her attention to Bruce, who still had his forlorn face resting on his outstretched paws, but his big eyes were watching the exchange closely. ‘Who’s this lovely girl?’ she asked.
‘He’s called Bruce,’ said Jay, wondering how she could think for a moment that this macho beast could be anything other than male. At the sound of his name, Bruce got up and came to the fence to greet the new person. He put his great paws on the flimsy structure and Jay feared he was going to push it over. The fence panel bowed but Jay wasn’t keen to intervene as he was still unsure of Bruce and his many teeth. It would be easier to pay for a new fence panel than lose an arm trying to save it. At least he had taken out a robust insurance policy. ‘Oh, careful, he’s a rescue and I’m not sure how he’ll be with strangers…’
