‘Oh, actually no. She’s not mine,’ said Jay quickly.
Nora raised an eyebrow at Jay.
‘Not that she would be mine if weweredating.Because women are not possessions or chattels. That’s a very old word.’ He cleared his throat.
‘We’re not a couple,’ said Nora. ‘I’ll be its auntie.’ Why did she say that? ‘Not that he’s my brother, because he’s not that either.’
‘We’re friends,’ said Jay and they both nodded along, relieved they’d finally managed to end the confusion.
Elaine didn’t look convinced. ‘OK. Let’s give you the tour and then you can see if you’re drawn to any species in particular. A big deciding factor might be your lifestyle.’
‘I don’t smoke. I do drink but I’m not a drinker,’ said Jay hastily. ‘I like a night out but I am totally ready for this commitment and—’
‘I meant your home arrangements,’ said Elaine.
‘Of course, sorry,’ said Jay. ‘My style is comfortable Scandinavian with a minimalist twist.’ He seemed pleased with his answer.
‘I was thinking more about whether there was someone at home during the day,’ said Elaine. ‘It’s important that dogs aren’t left alone for hours on end.’
‘Ahhh, right, I get you,’ said Jay. ‘I’m at home most of the time. My work is sporadic but Auntie Nora is my back-up plan for when I’m working away.’
‘I work from home mostly so…’ added Nora.
‘I’m glad you’ve thought this through.’ Elaine led the way through a couple of mesh doors to a courtyard. They had the tour of the guinea pigs and rabbits first, followed by reptiles and rodents. Jay liked all the guineapigs with their wacky hairstyles and was rather taken with a hamster called Fluff but given he was two years into a likely maximum three-year lifespan, Jay felt he was setting himself up for heartbreak. Elaine led them through another door into an inside section where a multitude of cats snoozed behind glass windows. Elaine began pointing out various residents she thought would be a good match for Jay.
Jay hung back and whispered to Nora, ‘I’m not sure I’m a cat person.’
‘Why not?’
‘They don’t like me.’ The one nearest to him hissed as if on cue.
‘This is Jemima,’ said Elaine. ‘She likes the quiet life and a lap to sit on.’
‘Don’t we all,’ said Nora. Elaine gave her a look. ‘The quiet life was the bit I meant. Anyway, Jemima seems sweet.’ The cat was watching them closely. When Jay approached, Jemima turned her back on him.
‘See,’ said Jay. ‘I’m not being paranoid. Cats don’t like me.’ He pointed at Jemima’s bum.
‘Cats aren’t for everyone,’ said Elaine. ‘Shall we look at the dogs?’
Jay was pulling a face. ‘I quite like the hamst—’
‘Oh yes, let’s look at the dogs,’ said Nora excitedly.
‘Yay, dogs,’ said Jay, mustering some enthusiasm from somewhere. They followed Elaine outside to the kennels. The sound of the entry door closing was enough to set the dogs off. ‘Do you have any small, quiet dogs?’he asked as the barking hit new heights, but his words were drowned out.
‘Hush!’ bellowed Elaine, making Nora’s ears ring a little. But it did seem to silence a few of the worst offenders. ‘That’s better. Now let’s have a look at who might be right for you two,’ said Elaine more to herself. She pursed her lips as if in deep thought as she slowly walked past the kennels. She paused at one where a slobbery, stocky white dog was licking the bars.
‘I don’t think so.’ Jay recoiled a little as they went by.
The next pen had a tiny dog. ‘Oh, you’re cute,’ said Jay, crouching down. The dog began a high-pitched yap.
‘Chihuahua,’ said Elaine. ‘He’s high maintenance and probably won’t cope well with the shared approach.’
Jay quickly followed after Elaine. ‘Now, maybe this fella is for you.’ She pointed into a kennel and Jay and Nora both looked inside. There was a large dog bed, and overflowing it was an even larger black, furry mass. Elaine tapped the mesh. The mass moved a little and two eyes appeared at the opposite end to where Nora was expecting them. ‘He’s a black German Shepherd. One previous owner. Relinquished due to a house move. Rentals rarely accept big dogs. He’s partially trained. Quite laidback so would hopefully be happy with your arrangement.’
‘His name’s Bruce,’ said Nora, looking at the info sheet on the door. At the sound of his name the large dog got up, stretched and came to investigate. ‘Like Bruce Wayne. That’s so cool. Hello, gorgeous boy.’ Nora put her fingers to the mesh and Bruce tried to lick them.
‘Careful,’ yelped Jay.
