‘It’s why I went for the ravioli,’ said Shanie.
‘I think I might be sick,’ said Kacey rushing from the table.
‘Staggering,’ said Dolly shaking her head.
Liv clicked her fingers. ‘Aww good pun. I wish I’d thought of that one.’ Shanie was the only one who laughed.
After the main courses Liv went to give Fraser a hand in the kitchen. ‘Go and eat,’ she said.
‘No, I’ll just—’
‘Go,’ she said trying to shoo him with a tea towel but he didn’t budge so she felt a bit foolish flicking the cloth against his thigh. ‘I mean I can’t make you but I’m offering to clean up in here and that offer might not last long if I have much more wine so…’ She pulled a face.
With a reluctant twist of his lips he muttered, ‘Thanks.’ And left the kitchen.
Effie came to help her and before long the dishwashers were full and they were making cups of tea and coffee.
‘You should have your pudding,’ said Effie. ‘It’s really nice. If you don’t eat it I will and I need to watch my weight.’
‘Why’s that?’ asked Liv.
‘Boyfriend,’ whispered Effie. ‘Goodness it feels so good to finally tell someone. But you mustn’t say anything. Not a word to anyone. Especially not Fraser or even worse my grandmother. Promise?’
‘Sure,’ said Liv, unsure why it would need to be all hush-hush. ‘Why is it a secret?’ Liv was already conjuring up aWest Side Storyrival family tale in her mind and a clan battle involving the ancient pike.
Effie bit her lip and Liv prepared herself for top-level gossip. ‘He doesn’t live near here.’
Liv was thoroughly disappointed. ‘Right. Long-distance thing then.’
‘You could say that. He’s in Burkina Faso.’
Liv spun around. ‘Blimey, that is long-distance. How did you meet him?’
‘Online.’ Effie whispered it like it was a bad swear word.
‘Lots of people do these days. You just need to be careful. Make sure he’s legit.’
‘Burkina Faso is a real place. It’s in Africa. I looked it up.’
‘I know,’ said Liv. ‘But be on your guard because they make other stuff up, promise you things, let you hope that this time you’ve found someone who gets you and Mariah Carey but then they steal your heart and ghost you.’
‘You can’t get ghosts on the internet. They can’t press the keys,’ said Effie.
Liv chuckled and then paused because she wasn’t entirely sure if Effie was joking. ‘No,ghosted. Like when they suddenly unfriend you and completely disappear, making you feel worthless and questioning what the hell is wrong with you.’
‘Right. I’d not heard of that.’ Effie scrunched up her features. ‘Actually I had heard of ghosting but I thought it was the same as being haunted.’ She pulled out her phone. ‘I might need to delete something I posted on a forum.’
‘What’s he like?’ asked Liv, still a sucker for a romance story even if her own love life was like a disaster movie.
‘Kind, selfless, cute. He changed his email address to John loves Effie at gmail. Isn’t that romantic? He sent me a photo. Let me find it…’ Effie was scrolling with Liv at her shoulder. There were lots of pictures of trees, Jock’O and Ginger.
The door swung open, interrupting them, and Dolly came in. Effie quickly shoved her phone in her pocket.
‘You two look mightily suspicious,’ said Dolly eyeing them knowingly.
‘Nope,’ said Liv. ‘Effie was trying to explain haggis to me again. How are the prisoners?’ she asked in a bid to distract her.
‘Restless. Kacey is still upset about eating Bambi, Shanie can’t function without the internet and Aaron was hoping for mints after his meal and possibly a turn-down service.’
