‘I did all right until you arrived,’ he said with a certain smug lift of his chin.
Darla had wondered who had been looking after the animals in between Horace dying and her moving in. ‘Any top tips?’
‘You can let the chickens out from time to time.’
‘Nice try. Are you trying to get me fired?’
‘No. I’m serious. They like to stretch their legs and they’ll find a variety of bugs and things to eat, which are good diet supplements.’
‘But they’ll fly away and then I’ll be in deep...’
Elliott was proper belly-laughing and Darla was lost as to why.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘Chickens can’t fly,’ said Elliott, clutching his side as he was gripped by a fresh wave of hysteria.
‘Yeah they can. The big boy one definitely can.’
‘The rooster,’ he said as the laughter faded to a broad grin.
‘Yes, I know. Him. He flies at me all the time. Did you not just see him do that?’
‘Okay. But a couple of feet is literally as high as they can get. They can’t take off, so they won’t fly away. And if you want another tip, you need to stand your ground with The Captain.’
‘With who?’ asked Darla.
But Elliott was already pointing at the strutting rooster.
‘I didn’t know they had names,’ she said.
‘Horace only named him and the goats. He didn’t like to get too attached to something he would later be eating.’
Darla grimaced. ‘He ate his pets?’
Elliott laughed. ‘They’re not pets. They’re livestock. Your chicken korma looks a bit different when it’s on your plate, but this is how it starts. You knew that right?’
‘Yes. And I’m not a big fan of Indian curry by the way.’
‘Nor me. I prefer Thai.’
‘Me too,’ said Darla. ‘Tell me what the goats are called.’ She walked around to their pen and he followed.
‘Dusty, Panda and Nibbles,’ said Elliott as he pointed first at the white one that looked like it had grubby knees, next to the black and white one and then the brown one with a white line down its face. ‘And these...’ he pointed at the three predominantly black ones ‘...are Curly, Larry and Moe.’
‘Sorry I missed which was which.’
‘I don’t know exactly. And if I’m honest, I don’t think Horace did either. But it’s okay because they’re not like dogs – they don’t respond to names.’
‘Good, then at least I won’t offend anyone. Any sign of Winston?’
‘I was coming to ask you the same thing.’
‘Elliott, I’m sorry. You must be so worried about him.’
Elliott gave a quick shrug but Darla could see the concern on his face. ‘He is a wanderer but he’s never been away this long before. He has a favourite food, maybe I could drop some down to you in case he’s hanging around here somewhere.’
‘Sure.’
