‘We do,’ said Lottie, with a sad sigh. ‘Do you want to give me a hand now?’ Angie’s face said she didn’t.
‘Won’t it just all go to charity?’ Angie gave the room a cursory sweep.
‘I guess so, but …’ Lottie was slightly thrown by the comment. It was true, there was very little that she would want to keep, but at the same time she couldn’t give it all away. ‘Come on, we need to do the important stuff. I’d rather do it with you than on my own.’
‘Fine,’ said Angie, and Lottie picked up Nana’s jewellery box and handed it to her.
‘This is all mine, so that’s easy,’ said Angie, closing the lid with a snap and putting the box next to her on the bed. She let her arm rest protectively around it.
‘Oh. I thought it might be nice for me to have something of Nana’s to keep. And Jessie too.’
Angie tried to hide her surprise. ‘Well, um, okay. What was it you wanted?’
‘Nothing expensive. Just something like her marcasite ring she wore if she was going out. And maybe her Saint Christopher for Jessie? Nicola might like something too.’
Angie snorted. ‘Fine, but I’m not giving it all away.’
‘I’m not asking you to.’ Lottie was becoming irritated. Her mother could be so selfish sometimes. ‘Here,’ said Lottie, pulling out the bottom drawer of the dresser and setting it down on the bed the other side of Angie. ‘Have a look through there.’ Angie looked at it as if it might explode.
‘We found the cards in there,’ said Lottie, her mind returning to the words in hers.
‘That was really odd wasn’t it? That she’d taken the time to write in everyone’s card when she could have just called us all together to tell us.’
‘No. I thought it was very Nana. She didn’t want a fuss. She said that in the card. This way everyone knows, but there’s no big drama.’ The avoidance of drama was probably what was foxing her mother, who had courted it her whole life.
‘I guess.’ She pulled out packet after packet of tights from the drawer. ‘Did she even wear anything other than flesh colour?’
Lottie ignored her mother. ‘What did your card say? I mean not a general interpretation. What did it actually say?’ asked Lottie.
Angie put the tights down and cupped her hands in her lap as if thinking over how to respond. ‘It said, “Spend time with your children – they are your greatest achievement.”’ Lottie was warmed by the words. Angie seemed puzzled. ‘It’s just another criticism. I do spend time with you when I can. But you know I’m busy. Don’t you, darling?’
‘Yes, Mum,’ said Lottie, and she pulled out another drawer. The fact that Angie still hadn’t asked what Lottie’s card said spoke volumes.
‘Your Nana always made me feel like she could do everything better than I could. Even bringing up you and Zach.’
‘I’m sure she didn’t mean to,’ said Lottie.
‘Daniel was academic and successful. I suppose I always felt I disappointed her.’ Lottie could relate to that. Angie gave herself a shake. ‘I probably imagined it all anyway. Because Ihavemade a success of my life and I’m only halfway through.’
‘What was that you said before about an early menopause? Are you okay?’
‘Oh, I’m fine. It’s wonderful. No need for contraception or sanitary products. It’s saved me a fortune.’ Angie looked genuinely delighted.
‘There are worse things that are transmitted through having sex.’
‘Worse than babies?’ Angie flinched. ‘Surely not.’
‘Do you think the early menopause thing could behereditary?’ Lottie bit her lip. She wanted to have children; it was frightening to think her time might be running out faster than she thought.
Angie shrugged. ‘Why do you ask?’
Lottie shook her head. Her mother was unbelievable. ‘Because it might impact me.’ Lottie couldn’t help her voice rising at the end.
‘Oh. I see.’ Angie seemed to give it some thought. She took Lottie’s hand. Lottie felt unexpected emotion bubble inside her. Her mother was rarely demonstrative, so when she was it always took her by surprise. ‘You know, darling; being a parent isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.’
‘Mum!’ Lottie’s voice was louder than either of them expected. It made Angie jump.
‘Oh, don’t take everything personally. That wasn’t a dig at you. I hate to admit it, but Nana was right. You and Zach are the best thing I’ve ever done. I know I’ve been an unconventional mother. But you know I love you. Don’t you?’
