And fuck?—
I’m ruined.
Just the feel of her restrained beneath me shatters any illusion I had of redemption.
“If you look at me like I am…” Her voice breaks as she tenses against my hold. “Like I’m just something damaged, something broken.” A sob catches in her throat as her fingers curl into a fist against my chest before she brings it down in a weak strike. “I have a bad heart, but I’m not…”
The anger fractures inside me, stripping away another layer of my defenses. Gently, I cover her fist with my hand, holding her there. I find her gaze, letting her anguish tear through me. All her pain, her exhaustion, her resignation.
“I have a bad heart, but I’m not broken,” she says, her voice faltering as she slips along the shower.
I drop to my knees and catch her, bracing her between my body and the wall. Framing the back of her head, I cradle it against the tile, my other cupping her waist as I look up into her face. “I know you’re not, baby. Fuck.” I press my forehead to her stomach, breathing her in deeply. “You’re not broken. You’re mine,” I murmur the words fiercely. “Your heart isn’t bad. It belongs to me.” Pulling back just enough, I press a kiss to the soft space beneath her navel. “You’re not broken. You’re mine. Your heart isn’t bad,” I utter this to her as my lips leave tender, desperate kisses as I trail upward, mapping a line of devotion along her body.
I continue to whisper these words, branding them into her skin,imprinting each one like a vow over every scar. “You’re mine.” I kiss the pale line cleaving her breasts, dropping fervent kisses across her collarbone, her throat, her jaw, until I’m towering above her, killing the distance between us as I tip her head back.
“You aremine,” I murmur against her trembling lips. “And I will never let you go. Never lose you. I will always bring you back.”
She shakes her head lightly, eyes shimmering with aching vulnerability in the steamy low light. “How can you say any of this when…” Her voice frays softly. “I’ve been standing under the spray, half-naked, and you’ve barely looked at me. Ever since you saw the scar, you don’t—” Her throat tightens visibly. “You don’t look at me the same.”
“Goddammit.” I grip her wrist and bring her hand to the front of my soaked pants, pressing her palm right against my aching, rock-hard erection straining beneath the zipper. “Does this fucking feel like I don’t want you?”
Her swallow is audible, her gaze flashing bright and needy as she meets mine, and god-fucking-dammit, I’m helpless as I surrender to her entirely.
“Use me,” I tell her, voice worn with desperation. “I don’t fucking care. If it means I get to taste even a drop of you—that I get to see your mouth go slack with pleasure, those beautiful eyes glaze with satisfaction…then just use me, angel.”
I grasp the high slit of her drenched skirt and drag it aside, my bare palm seizing the soft curve of her hip. I let my fingers taste the tempting, silky feel of her skin, making me goddamn feral, before I tear the thin fabric of her panties away.
“Spread your legs.” I issue the demand even as my thigh presses between hers, parting her open to me.
Her hands find leverage on my shoulders, blunt nails digging into muscle as I grip her hips, guiding her soaked heat into a slow grind against my thigh. My left hand grasps the nape of her neck, fingers threading into her wet hair as I bring my mouth to her ear. “Just don’t tempt me to do something worse…something I can’t take back.”
Controlling the motion of her hips, I rock her body in a slow, torturous rhythm, my jaw clenched against the sensual feel of her.
She shivers against my caged arms, her breathy moans dissolving into the saline rinsing between us, charged and electrified, becoming a flowing current. We’re locked here, held captive within this quantum dance. Molecules vibrating, frantically seeking connection. An energy exchange between our bodies that demands more movement, heat, friction.
Touch.
A torn sound vibrates from her throat, andfuck—I know it’s not enough.
“It has to be enough,” I grit out, an involuntary, ardent demand falling from my mouth, and her answering whimper drops right to my groin as she drives a weak fist against my chest—as if trying to push me away and pull me closer in the same, bruising motion. Her fury and pain and need all collide, fragmenting beautifully into raw, surrendering hunger.
I grasp her face, thumb sweeping her jawline as I stare down at her, our lips separated by a breath. Her fingers dig into the drenched fabric of my open shirt, the smallest gesture pulling me inexorably closer. Her touch drifts, fingertips tracing across my chest, tracking the stars of her constellation.
“I was always yours,” she whispers against my mouth. Beneath the steam, heat unfurls, almost unbearable. “And you’re mine,” she breathes. “You’re mine, Orion.”
“I am yours,” I rasp, working her harder against me. “You have all of me.” One final claim before I slant my mouth over hers,capturing her lips in an unyielding kiss. A soft, needy whimper escapes her as I grasp the back of her knee, dragging her body flush against mine. She arches off the tile, rolling her hips in desperate search for friction and making me utterly mindless with the need to feel her, taste her?—
Take her.
With painstaking restraint, I remove the temptation, placing my palm to the center of her chest. Her heart pounds beneath my touch, and I lightly drum my fingers there, keeping time with her beats, matching the cadence of her pulse. Holding the count—holding myself—painfully, maddeningly back.
Warm water streams between our exposed skin, rivulets sensually infusing our kiss with heat as I deepen it. Her hand moves over mine, boldly guiding me from the incision scar to the curve of her breast, where I’m helpless to do anything but cup her perfectly within my palm.
I relinquish a harsh groan against her lips, muscles tensing as my thumb skims her peaked nipple, sending a shockwave of arousal through me as my fingertips tenderly caress the softness of her, feeling the swell of flesh where two small, circular scars mark her skin.
With a shuddering moan, she arches into my touch, spine bowing against the wall, hips moving in aching, torturous rolls, pressing her hard against my erection as her body pleads for more.
“Goddamn, angel, I want you,” I say, my voice a dark, possessive growl. “You’re so fucking beautiful, it physically pains me. I want every part of you, Collins. You belong to me.Withme.” My grip tightens, drawing her impossibly closer. “You feel so fucking perfect against me, it terrifies me, starling. Once I discover how right it feels to be inside you…I’ll be utterly lost.”
