“Did you read the contract again? What if?—”
I tuned her out somewhere around Claremont Avenue, not bothering to respond to any of her doomsday scenarios. I hadn’t said a word in what felt like days.
Maybe since Saturday afternoon when I’d gone to coffee with him—myfiancéwho would very soon be myhusband.
My head was too full and too loud, my thoughts too brittle. Speech felt dangerous, like anything I said might crack me open, so I kept my hands folded in my lap, watching the city slide past outside the window.
It was freezing again today, gray and icy. I’d opted for a smart, off-white pantsuit, the nicest thing I owned that looked mildly bridal. My hair was swept back and twisted into a low, tight bun. When I checked the mirror one last time before we’d left, I’d looked regal.
Like an old-money regal goddess actually. At least, I thought so.
It had startled me a little, if I was being honest. The studded pearl earrings from my grandmother helped. I was grateful I hadn’t sold them yet. I’d sold almost everything else of value, all the gems that had been passed down to me from God only knew where.
As I fidgeted with my hands in my lap, I glanced down at them, allowing a tiny smile to break free at the color I’d chosen for my nails. A light, glossy pink I wouldn’t usually let myself wear in the city. It was too soft, too feminine, and maybe even a little bit whimsical, but it had felt right for today.
A tiny indulgence, a nod to the fact that I did have a softer side. I hid it like a champ, but it existed, and on my wedding day, no matter how abnormal the situation, I’d wanted to acknowledge it. I’d spent a bit of extra time on my makeup too, going for understated elegance.
I wouldn’t admit it to my mom or even really to myself, but I might just have put in a bit more effort than I thought I might because of Alex. Because I’d wanted to look pretty. For him.
I also wouldn’t admit that it might just destroy me if I showed up and he didn’t. I kept replaying that car ride with him on a loop in my head, and I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t stop thinking about the few minutes we’d spent alone together in that car. At my house. Over coffee.
It was pathetic. I knew that, but as we arrived at the courthouse, I forced myself to inhale a deep breath and focuson the matter at hand.The multi-billion-dollar question—is he even here?
Mom and I climbed out of the car and I took her arm, tucking her close to my side as we hurried into the building. She was clutching her purse like it was going to run away from her, still muttering. Clearly still worried.
After taking the elevator up, I gave her arm a reassuring squeeze, but I still didn’t say a word. It felt like I might be sick if I opened my mouth at all right now. We stepped into the third-floor hallway, our heels clicking in tandem. The scent of old paper and floor polish filled my lungs when I inhaled a deep breath, my stomach a hollow pit of trepidation and dread.
It took more effort than it should’ve to keep walking, just putting one foot in front of the other until we reached the end of the hallway and found the appointed courtroom. Black block lettering on the door told me we were in the right place, and I took a beat before we went in to straighten my shoulders, pulling in yet another deep breath that didn’t really calm me.
Today is my wedding day. Holy fuck. It’s my wedding day, and I don’t even know if the groom is going to show.
I couldn’t send one of my brothers at a fancy venue to check if my future husband was there, laughing and drinking scotch with his groomsmen. There was no aroma of beautiful floral arrangements in the air and no instrumental music that swelled when I finally managed to convince myself to push open the door.
Inside, the courtroom was quiet, most of the benches empty and the space washed in muted morning light. My eyes swept forward and I stopped short, relief slamming into me first, so complete it almost even banished the nerves for a minute.
Alex was already here, standing with Nate near the judge’s bench. They were talking in low voices but both men turned when the door opened and we strode in.
Nate grinned, warm and apparently unbothered about the fact that his brother was marrying a woman neither of them even really knew, but I barely registered him. Because Alex?
God, he looked incredible, and better yet, it looked like he’d actually been waiting for me, hoping I’d show rather than praying that I wouldn’t. As soon as our eyes met, his posture shifted, subtle but unmistakable relief flickering across his features before he masked it.
I saw it, though. Felt it like a warm balm being applied right behind my ribcage. Neither of us might’ve wanted to marry each other. At least not like this. Or perhaps ever, but we were in this together, and as much as I wanted to hate him for it, I just couldn’t.
As always, he was impeccably put together, today in a midnight blue suit and a tie the color of storm clouds. I could tell that he’d spent a little extra time on himself too, his dark hair neatly styled out of his face, his jaw freshly shaven, and his shoes shining like a beacon, but it was the expression on his face that got to me even more than how objectively handsome he was.
Because it really looked like he hadn’t been sure I would come. Just as I’d wondered if he would. I probably shouldn’t have been so touched that he’d doubted me, but honestly, I was. Because it was real. He’d taken a risk, coming here without being absolutely certain I’d come, but he’d done it anyway, showing up for me even though he might’ve left feeling like a fool if I hadn’t.
Mom let out a little gasp beside me as we strode in, obviously as relieved as we were that so far, everything seemed to be going according to plan. I walked forward with slow, measured footsteps, the way I’d seen my mother do at board meetings and charity galas back in the day when her entrance had still meant something. When it’d needed to carry weight.
My pulse was a runaway horse at this point, but I kept my chin lifted, offering Nate a polite nod when we reached them. “Nathaniel.”
“Good morning, Jane.” He smiled, surprisingly encouraging for a man who’d found out less than two days ago that his brother and CEO would be getting married today. “You look great.”
“Thank you,” I said, but my voice was too soft, so I cleared my throat, hoping that would fix it.
As I turned to face Alex, I found him already staring right at me. Openly and unapologetically, like I was something he hadn’t been prepared for.
“Good morning,” he said quietly, and it hit me low in the stomach, his voice so deep, smooth, and gentle that I kind of just wanted to crawl into him. “How’re you doing?”
