All at once, Dante swoops in to crouch in front of his wife and sweep her into his arms.And as sorry as I feel for her, as much pain and fear as she’s in, I can’t pretend there isn’t a twinge of jealousy prickling my skin.At least even if the worst happens, she’ll have Dante.Who will I have?
Emotion swells in my chest before rising in my throat like hot, bitter bile.“He saved my life.Don’t you get it?”I blurt out.I’m so tired and aching from head to toe now that the adrenaline has started to wear off.I can barely force the words out, but I have to say it.Looking across the room to where Luca stares out the window, I murmur, “I would be dead if he didn’t throw himself in front of me.You know it.”
“It was the Scarpettas,” Papa growls.“Those filthy bastards.Lying low until they knew they could flush us out.Imagine using a funeral luncheonfor something like this.”
Yeah, I can’t handle thinking about it right now.I might totally lose it, and I’m barely holding on as it is.I have to consciously feel the chair under me, the jacket hanging heavy around my shoulders, Mama’s arm squeezing me.I turn my head toward her, and she kisses my cheek.“My sweet, sweet girl,” she whispers.“What would we have done?”
“What I want to know is…” Luca’s voice is low, ominous when he turns away from the window.I can’t read his face, but it’s stormy.That much, I can see, even with my brain chugging slowly as it is.“What he did or said that made it so easy for him to take advantage of you.”
“Luca!” Mama gasps.“Don’t say things like that.It’s an insult to your sister and beneath you.”
“He’s beneath her,” he snaps, then looks at Sophia, scowling.“I’m sorry, but it’s true.This doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“Luca, shut the hell up,” Dante warns, slowly rising.“If you have half a brain, you will keep your mouth shutnow.”
“He didn’t take advantage of me,” I insist, fighting for the strength to defend Alessandro when he can’t defend himself.“I’m sorry.I really, really am.I tried so hard to hate him, but it was no use.”
Papa groans, turning his back on me, his head hanging low.“Papa,” I whisper as my heart breaks.Not now.This would be hard enough to handle on its own, but I can’t imagine a worse time than right now.“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“Don’t you see how you’ve betrayed us?”Luca demands, flipping Dante off when he reacts angrily.
“Save it, all right?’he growls at him.I haven’t seen the two of them like this in a long time, back when they used to treat antagonizing each other like a hobby.
“I haven’t betrayed anybody,” I argue, though my voice is emotionless.I don’t have it in me to get worked up.I’m in too much pain.I’m too scared.The memory of kissing Alessandro while life was draining from him is too fresh.“And I’m sorry if you don’t think that saving your sister‘s life makes him worthy of a little respect.I’m sorry, I don’t mean much to you.”
“Don’t make this about what you mean to me,” he scoffs, loosening his striped tie.“But I can’t forget what he’s done.You had no business getting involved with him.”
Someone clears their throat in the hall.Any other time, it would be funny, the way we all look in that direction at the same time.If it weren’t for the way Sophia gasps, I’d think I’m hallucinating.
“Emilia.”Luca goes to her, arms outstretched.Right away, he’s in protective mode.“What are you doing here?”
“You called to tell me there was an assassination attempt.I was supposed to stay home?”She sounds exasperated with him, which is better than having her look at me like I’m a terrible person.But there’s plenty of time for that.
After hugging him, she looks around the room.It’s pretty obvious she heard what we were talking about, at least to me.I see how troubled she is, uncomfortable.“How is he?”
“We don’t know yet,” Sophia murmurs.“He’s in surgery.”
“I’m sorry.”She crosses the room slowly, with Luca practically glued to her side, then bends down to hug Sophia.“You’ve already had such a rough day.I’m really sorry.But he’s strong.”
I don’t know what I want more—for her to finally look at me so I can get this over with or avoid this forever.
Too late.
“And how are you?”she gently asks me as if nothing has changed.“Are you all right?Do you need anything?”
The thing is, she doesn’t sound like she’s pretending for the sake of appearances.That might have killed me if she were all stiff and formal.Once again, I’m too overwhelmed to do anything more than sputter, “I… I don’t… I mean, I don’t think so.”
“Why don’t we go down to the cafeteria, grab some coffee?”Luca suggests, already draping an arm around her waist.
“Luca.Sweetie.”She stands firm, patting his arm.“I love you, but don’t do that.I’m a big girl.And if I had any problem with being here, I wouldn’t have driven over.”
She looks at me from the corner of her eye before sighing.“I was listening out there for a little while.You were all too busy arguing to notice.”
This is it.
This is where I lose her as my friend.
I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her holding me at arm’s length because she’ll never trust me again.This is where I pay for making such a stupid decision, even if it doesn’t really feel like there was any decision to be made anyway.I wouldn’t walk away from Alessandro now if I had the choice.
