I don’t care.
I don’t care about anything anymore…
Except for the man who took a bullet for me.
“Jesus, fuck,” Luca groans, standing beside me.“You cannot be fucking serious.I’ll blow his head off now.”
“Shut up,” I snap, glaring at him with Alessandro’s head still in my hands.He’s warm, thank God.Not cold, the way a person is supposed to get when they die.He’s still with me.“Just shut up.They could’ve hit me.Don’t you get it?He saved my life!”And he could be dying.I can’t lose him.I won’t accept it.
“Giulia…” I barely hear him over the chaos, but even his faint whisper is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
I lean closer, cradling his head in one hand, stroking his cheek with the other.“I’m right here.I’m not going anywhere.”
He looks so pale.Terror wraps itself around my heart and squeezes hard.He can barely keep his eyes open.
Don’t let him die, please don’t let him die.
It seems to take all the strength he has to ask, “Are… you okay?Not hurt?”
“I’m fine.Why did you do that?”Water drips on his face, and I realize it’s my tears, which I brush away with my thumb.“Are you really crazy?Trying to get yourself killed?”
“Making sure… you don’t get killed…” A brief smile passes over his face.He almost laughs.“I did a good thing.I did the right thing.”
“You did, you idiot,” I tell him through my tears.“You know what you can do now?You can stay with me.Please, don’t leave me.Don’t go.You’re gonna be okay, right?”
“I’m not leaving you,” he murmurs as his eyes drift shut.“Not leaving.”
Does he have a choice?That’s the thing.I don’t know.
He’s not slipping away.I won’t let him.“Eyes open, Vitali,” I growl, making his lids flutter.“Stay awake.I need you to stay awake.”
“You’re… fucking bossy,” he whispers with another weak smile.
My tears wet both of our faces when I kiss him, forcing myself to commit him to memory.The way his lips feel against mine, the way he tastes.“I’m a Santoro,” I remind him with a soft laugh.
Flashing lights illuminate his face, and I can breathe a little easier knowing the ambulance is here.
But not too easy.
Not until I know he’s well.
* * *
“How did this happen?”
I am so tired, I barely have it in me to respond to Papa’s question.The waiting room in the ICU holds only us, which is at least one slight positive in the middle of so much darkness.I can’t stop shivering, even with Dante’s suit jacket draped over me.I can’t get warm.
Now I have to deal with this?Papa, looking at me like I committed the ultimate sin?Luca won’t even talk to me right now, pacing angrily, occasionally scrubbing a hand over his head or rubbing the back of his neck.Sometimes he’ll stare out a window with his hands on his hips, but he doesn’t speak.
Mama sits next to me, and Sophia sits on my other side, both of them putting their arms around me.I appreciate it, I do, but it’s like I’m not even here.I’m in the operating room with Alessandro.He’s been in surgery for over an hour, though it feels more like a day.There was so much blood on the sidewalk when they put him on the stretcher.How can he survive losing that much blood?
“Now is not the time,amor mio,” Mama whispers, holding my hand, squeezing it as she looks up at Papa.“Alessandro is the brother of your daughter-in-law.You should remember that now.”
“Forgive me, Sophia,” he murmurs, looking and sounding regretful.“This is a very difficult situation.”
I doubt she needs to be told that.“We buried my father today,” she whispers.“Now, my brother’s on an operating table.I can’t even get Mom on the phone.”
Right.I vaguely remember her stumbling out early with an excuse about being overwhelmed.I might have been a little too distracted by Alessandro while trying like hell to make it look like I wasn’t watching him.
