She’s going to be the end of me.
At the moment, that doesn’t feel like a problem.
13
GIULIA
Alessandro: I need you.
Alessandro: Get out of there for a minute.Just a minute.
Alessandro: Don’t make me wait until tomorrow.I can’t.
I need to stop checking my phone.I should never have put it in my pocket before coming down for dinner, but then I didn’t expect the man I’m not supposed to be sleeping with to hit me with all these texts.Because he knows I’m here, surrounded by my family, and there is still a streak of rebelliousness running through him.He might have calmed himself down and not wreak havoc on everybody he meets anymore, but he can’t change who he is.
“What I would like to know is, when are we going to hear the pitter-patter of little feet running up and down the hall?”Mama asks as she cuts into a chicken cutlet.The woman is determined to become a grandmother and isn’t being shy about it.
“Are you trying to tell us you want to adopt a dog?”Luca jokes, earning him a scowl from her and laughter from Dante, who also gets a scowl as Mama turns toward him.
“I’m glad you both think this is so funny,” she grumbles, clicking her tongue.“But I take it very seriously.Family, legacy.These things matter.”
“No one is saying they don’t, Mama.”Dante exchanges a look with Sophia.“But we’re not ready yet.”
“Ready?What doesreadyhave to do with it?”Mama throws her hands up in exasperation before pointing her fork at me.“At this rate, your sister will give me a grandchild before either of you.”
Be cool, be cool.She doesn’t know anything.It’s so easy to drown in paranoia when I’m hiding the biggest, most dangerous secret ever.
“Papa would have to let her out of his sight first,” Dante murmurs, winking at me from across the table.“And since that’s not going to happen…”
I swear to God, it’s like he knows this is the worst possible time to send a message.
Alessandro: Five minutes.Come up with an excuse between dinner and dessert.I need a taste.
Jesus Christ, my heart is going to explode.I have to cut a bite of my chicken and shove it in my mouth.Otherwise, I’m going to sit here, grinning like an idiot.I might as well have a neon sign above my head, with an arrow pointing down at me.Wanton slut.Yes, that’s pretty close to the truth.That’s what he’s turned me into.
Not like I’m complaining.And I’m not clueless.We’ve only been officially sleeping together for a couple of weeks, and only when I find a way around my schedule.I somehow convinced Papa that I have a study group on Wednesdays after my last class, which buys me an extra hour.I’ve logged on to class a couple of times, too, rather than attending in person.
None of my professors seem to have a problem with it, but I know I need to pull back a little.Pump the brakes.Otherwise, it will be too easy to spiral out of control and completely lose sight of my life before Alessandro became such a huge part of it.
It’s obvious he’s not going to give up without a response, so I keep the phone in my lap, half hidden by the tablecloth.
Me: You’re going to get me in trouble.
Alessandro: That was the idea.Don’t make me come in and look for you.
The thing is, I don’t know if he’s joking or not.I wouldn’t put it past him, let’s put it that way.He’s done much worse.
And there I go again, reminding myself what a terrible person I am for even having a personal relationship with him.Add in the fact that we’re both at least partially naked a lot of the time, and you have a recipe for one complete, backstabbing Judas who doesn’t deserve to sit at this table with her family.
“Who are you so busy talking to?”My cousin, Francesco, elbows me, leaning over like he wants to get a look at my screen.
“Mind your own business,” I retort, nudging him away.
“We don’t use our phones at the table,” Papa reminds me.“Once a week, can we sit here together as a family without distractions?”
“Thanks a lot,” I whisper to Cesco when Papa returns to his food.
“Follow the rules, and you won’t get in trouble,” he retorts with a shit-eating grin.He’s so full of crap, and we both know it.Sometimes, he acts more like a brother than my actual brothers do.Unlike them, he pays enough attention to tease me and get on my nerves the way big brothers are supposed to.All my brothers do is piss me off in general and make me want to bang their heads together.
