“Itold her, friends with benefits only works if you’re actually friends with the person.Otherwise, they’re just a random hookup.And there’s nothing wrong with that.”Brynn sets down the sandwich she’s been picking at since we grabbed lunch together in the courtyard.It’s a nice day, pretty and sunny.That means everyone wants to be outside and is jockeying for spots at tables as soon as the people sitting there leave.
“You should write a book,” Olivia tells her.“Or charge as a college sex therapist or something.”
Brynn only rolls her eyes.“It’s common sense.A friend is somebody you do more with than just fuck, you know?”
All I can do is nod silently because no, I don’t understand.I mean, I do on some level, but I have no experience to fall back on.It’s not a surprise that everyone seems way ahead of me on this, since that’s the way pretty much everything goes when it comes to guys, sex, and all that.
Which is probably why I’m struggling with thiscrushor whatever it is.
The word makes my stomach turn.
A crush on Alessandro Vitali?
For one thing, it’s ridiculous, if only because of the age difference.He’s not exactly old enough to be my father or anything, but he’s definitely over thirty.I don’t want to be like one of those girls on the internet who gets criticized for letting an older man take advantage of her.I don’t know why I should care so much, but I do.I want to believe I’m smarter than that.
And the only thing he could do is take advantage of me.All right, so he’s been nice a couple of times.When Papa had that heart issue, he even held me for a little while.It was magic, the way all of the hurt and fear left me as I melted against him.I’ve never seen Papa like that, looking vulnerable and ill.It hit me then and there that he won’t always be around, and I’ll have to figure out how to get along without him.We all will.
But Alessandro took the fear away.
He did something else too.He lit a fire in me.I have replayed the moment when I was so sure he was going to kiss me hundreds of times over the past four days, sitting in the back seat of the car or during class when I should be listening to the lecture.
Even now, when the girls are chatting happily, I should be listening to them the way a real friend would.Instead, I’m obsessing like a lovesick puppy dog.
But it’s late at night, in the dark, when I have all the time in the world to replay that heart-stopping moment.When I can close my eyes and focus on the heat that always builds in my pussy.I can let my imagination go wild with what could have happened next, how his kiss would feel, what he would taste like, and the sounds he would make.
My touch becomes his touch when I imagine his hands on me.What he would do with my body.I’m sure an experienced man like him has to know exactly how to make my back arch and pussy quiver the way I can, until I come with his face in my mind’s eye.
I’m in big trouble.And I know it’s impossible for him to have the first clue what’s going on in my head, but that doesn’t help when I look up to the front seat and catch him watching me in the mirror.My heart always skips a beat.How much of that can a girl go through before she either has to turn fantasy into reality or die from the pressure of pretending nothing has changed?
I have to get over this somehow.My gaze moves over the tables around us—there are at least a dozen cute guys out here.They’re who I need to be thinking about, not some homicidal maniac with strong arms, a firm chest, and eyes I could drown in.
“Oh my God.Oh my God!”Serena’s choked whisper makes me look in the direction she’s staring.
There goes my heart, skipping a beat again.I can’t help it.The day was already sunny and bright, but everything shimmers now.My pulse starts to race, and I have to deliberately fight off a smile of pure relief because there he is.His black polo and charcoal slacks perfectly highlight his body, and his dark aviators give him a touch of mystery.Danger.
He spots me from across the courtyard and starts charging my way before I can fully process his presence.
“Here he comes!”Maddie whispers while Brynn makes a strangled squealing sound.
Alessandro either doesn’t notice the guy he bumps into and almost knocks over, or he doesn’t care.The rest of the world might as well not exist.“We need to go,” he mutters when he reaches the table, while I sit and stare up at him in disbelief.
“Wait.What?I still have two classes.”I pop up from my seat, blushing more out of embarrassment than the thrill of seeing him.“What are you doing here?”
“You can come sit down with us,” Olivia offers in a loud, bright voice.“There’s plenty of room.”
His nostrils flare, but he doesn’t acknowledge her.When I don’t move fast enough, he stuns me by picking up my backpack off the bench, then taking my phone off the table.“Ladies,” he murmurs.The only word he speaks to the rest of the girls before turning on his heel and marching away.
I will kill him and dance on his grave.“I’ll see you guys,” I mumble, already on the move while my friends gasp and giggle behind me.From the corner of my eye, I see we’re gaining attention, with people turning to watch while I try to maintain a little dignity instead of running after him and screaming his name.
Once we reach the sidewalk, I break into a run and grab hold of my backpack.“What are you doing?I still have two more classes!”
“I’m telling you, you need to go home.Right now.Get in the goddamn car, and we can talk about it.”He gives the bag a sharp tug, but I keep my feet planted because, fuck him.He might be scorchingly hot, and I might be losing my mind a little over him, but he doesn’t get to make a scene and expect me to go along silently.
“You could try telling me right now like I’m an adult, instead of being all weird,” I retort.
“An adult would accept this and know it must be something important if I went to the trouble of hunting you down.”Another tug pulls me a little closer to him.“You think I have nothing better to do than search for you?”
Oh my God, how stupid can I be?My stomach drops when I remember watching Papa turn ashy gray and almost slump over his desk.The kind of news you want to deliver in person instead of via text.“Is it Papa?Is he sick?Tell me!”I beg with my heart in my throat.
