“This one isa bit closer to the hospital, which I know was on your list of desirables,” Elliot tells me as we head up the elevator in one of the larger buildings in this complex. “The apartment has two bedrooms, two full bathrooms, a large state-of-the-art kitchen, a dining area, and a family room with an unobstructed view of the Back Bay Fens.”
“Sounds nice,” I tell him, but the truth is, not much today has been. I don’t know if it’s me or the encounter I had with Aston, or perhaps maybe I’m coming down with something, but I haven’t felt well all morning.
He unlocks the apartment, and we step inside to bright lights and dull gray skies outside the window. Snow is starting to fall, and it would be cozy, but nothing right now is. Elliot continues to tell me more about the building amenities and things like that, but a wave of nausea comes over me so fierce that it has me running straight for what I seriously hope is a bathroom. Mercifully, it is, and I slam the door shut behind me, lift the lid for the toilet, and vomit nothing but bile into it.
“Skylar, are you all right?” Elliot questions behind the door, concern in his voice.
“Yes,” I manage as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Ugh. “I just need a moment.”
“Of course. Take your time.”
A few dry heaves rattle through me, but my stomach seems to have settled, and the vomiting stops. I flush the toilet and wash my hands and mouth. I’m a disaster with mascara running down my cheeks. I do my best to clean myself up, andwhen I step out of the bathroom, Elliot is across the apartment, standing against the island in the kitchen.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologize.
He waves me away. “No worries. These things happen. Do you want to see the rest of the apartment or just go?”
“I’m here,” I tell him as I glance around and start back for the kitchen so I can get a better look at it.
“I suppose that’s why you’re looking for two bedrooms,” he muses, and I stop short and pivot to look at him.
“Pardon?”
A knowing glint hits his eyes, but he holds his hands up in surrender. “I get it, and I won’t say anything more. But when my fiancée started skipping coffee and throwing up out of nowhere, we figured out pretty quickly she was pregnant. It also makes sense why your brother was so protective of you when I arrived.”
I’m impersonating a goldfish. Or perhaps an owl. Or more like I’m a motherfucking deer in headlights because what the actual fuck? My first reaction is no. And thatnocarries a lot of meaning behind it. No, I can’t be pregnant. No, it can’t be Josh’s because that would mean a lot of bullshit, and I cannot have that bullshit, any of it, in my new life.
He must catch on that I’m panicking because he pauses and tilts his head before a blush like a wildfire takes over his face. “Oh. Crap.” His hands stretch out toward me. “I’m sorry. Listen, I didn’t mean to?—”
“No. Um. Yeah.” I laugh. There’s absolutely no humor to it. “I think maybe I should go.”
He nods. “I’m so sorry. Can I drive you anywhere?”
I shake my head. “I think I just need to walk.”
“Of course.” I’ve never seen another human look more awkward or uncomfortable before, and I’m a nurse. “Can I call you next week? See if you want to reschedule?”
“Yes. I’d appreciate that.”
Before he can say anything else, I fly out of the apartment and back into the elevator. The flight down takes forever, but I can’t catch my breath, so it might as well take days. I’m not even making sense. Because holy shit. Holy freaking shit! I might be pregnant.
I make it outside into the freezing February afternoon. Snow is coming down a bit heavier, and I know we’re supposed to get a few inches or so. I don’t know what to do. I just know I can’t do it alone.
With a tremulous hand, I slip my phone from my purse and call Braelyn.
“Hey,” she answers on the third ring. “How’d it go? Did you find a place?”
“Are you working?” I ask instead of answering her.
She’s silent for a beat. “Yes. Why? Are you okay? You sound…”
“Can I come see you?”
“Always.”
“Is anyone else there right now?”
By anyone else, I mean anyone else in my family or our extended network of people who are more or less like family. A lot of them work at MGH, which is her hospital, and a lot of them also work in the ER, where she’s a nurse.
