Shit. Fuck! This is not how I was going to do this. I knew we’d get here. I knew eventually he’d ask, and then I’d have to make a choice. Lie or tell him the truth. And I could lie. I could. But eventually, the truth would get out. It always does.
“Tell me!” he demands, bringing his hand up to my throat. It’s his move. The one he’s done countless times that never fails to fill my heart with dread. I used to think it was simply him being possessive, even as he spouted ugly things at me. But then there were the times he’d squeeze, and the last was the final straw. He squeezed hard enough that I was coughing and sputtering when he finally released me. The next day, we had that in-service, and then I left him.
Thankfully, he doesn’t squeeze me now, but he holds my throat tightly, and when I still don’t answer, he shakes me, causing the back of my head to bang against the brick and a tear to slip from my eyes.
“Get off me.” I dig my nails into his hand and try to push him away, but to no avail. His weight is pressing into me, and I have no room to move or maneuver. His eyes are murderous, and they hold me in place as his nose presses in on mine, and his lips hover close enough that I can taste his breath.
“It’s mine, isn’t it?” He shakes me by my neck. “Answer me!”
“Fuck you!” I scrape my nails into his hand, but it’s as if he doesn’t even register it.
“You stupid fucking whore! You’re pregnant with my kid, and you married him! Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” Hesqueezes my throat, making me choke and my nails dig deeper, only to immediately relax his grip.
“This is why I didn’t want you to know!” I bark. “Look at what you’re doing. You have me by the throat, pinned to a building. You’re scaring the shit out of me, and you make me feel unsafe. You treated me like shit and terrorized me for a year. A fucking year!” I slam against him, but he presses harder. “I never knew which way your moods were going to go, what to say to you because I was always afraid anything I did say would set you off. You’d throw things and call me every freaking horrible name you could think of, and you’d do this.” I tap his hand. “You’d put your hand around my neck like a threat. Like you could kill me at any moment, and sometimes I even thought you might. You made me feel weak and powerless and ugly and fat and gross and stupid. You made me feel like no one could ever love me but you because I was an awful person to love. But it’s you who’s awful. You who’s weak. I know what you did to Aston. I know,” I spit. “I’m not going to let you hurt him the way you hurt me. And I sure as hell won’t let you hurt my baby.”
He laughs caustically in my face. “You think he gives two shits about you? Once he learns the baby is mine and not his, he’ll walk. You trapped him like a poor bastard. You’re nothing but a stupid slut who fucks her way from one man to the next. Only this time you fucked up. The baby is mine and not his. You think I was so mean to you? Boo-fucking-hoo, princess. I never hurt you. That was all in your head. You’re a spoiled, coddled rich girl who expects the world to worship you when the truth is, you’re nothing without me.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh, even when it’s shaky and rattled by his hand on my throat and adrenaline charging through my veins and muscles. “Now who’s the stupid whore? He knows whose baby it is, and he wants me anyway. He married me anyway.”
His eyes flash dangerously. “Except it’s my baby and not his. So that makes you mine.” His teeth graze my jaw, and he pants heavily against my skin. “Why do you do this to us? I love you so much. If you think I’m going to let him have you when you’re pregnant with my child, you’ve got another thing coming.”
“That’s not your call to make. It's mine. If I have to fight you tooth and nail in court over it, I will. I will use all of my resources to keep my baby safe and you out of my life.”
His forehead presses into the side of my face. “You won’t. You’re too soft for that. You’re just mad at me. But I’ll change. Ihavebeen changing. You’ve seen it. I’ve been everything you love about me.”
I thrust against him, and he finally relents, giving me an inch to breathe. “You just called me a stupid whore, squeezed my neck, and slammed my head against the wall.”
He makes a dismissive noise, irritation angling his features. “I didn’tslamyour head. That’s not how it happened. Jesus, Skylar, you’re exaggerating again. I said those things because I was angry.” He gives me a reproachful look. “You can’t blame me for that. I just learned you’re pregnant with my baby, and yet you’re married to that fucker and not me.”
He seriously doesn’t see it, and that’s terrifying. But more than that, I don’t want to fight with him anymore. I don’t want to question or doubt myself the way I did with him for so long. There is no safety in doing that, and frankly, none of it matters anymore.
“You’re dangerous. Did you honestly think you could get away with altering medication orders? With fucking with equipment? You could have killed a patient.”
His eyes pin mine. “Your husband’s the one who fucked up, touching things that never belonged to him. There’s no proof of anything other than the fact that he’s incompetent. Even if there is, it won’t lead to me.” He grins and locks me in place once more, licking a ring around my lips and up my neck thatmakes bile climb up the back of my throat. “His career is finished. He’s on administrative leave.”
I gasp and fight to push him back. “He’s what? Since when?”
He gives me a satisfied smile. “Since about twenty minutes ago. I just saw him going up to get his things from his locker before I got on the elevator with you.”
“What did you do?”
Thankfully, he finally releases me, his anger ebbing just as quickly as it came on. That’s how he works. A volcano erupting before he turns dormant again just as fast. It was the ultimate mindfuck. Especially when he’d become soft and remorseful and adoring after. He’d make it feel as though I imagined the entire thing.
But not anymore. And never again.
“I spoke to Weinberg about him. About my concerns.”
My jaw unhinges. “Why would you do that?”
“Because he needs to go. You never would have left me if it weren’t for him. And now that I know you’re pregnant, I know I made the right choice with the med orders and equipment. I did what I had to do for you and for us. You never should have married him.”
“You could have killed someone.”
“No one got hurt, and now that he’s gone, no one will.”
Holy hell. I can’t even with that. “Why do you want me back?” That’s what I can’t make sense of. The way he speaks to me, you’d think he hated me.
He steps back into me, and I press my hands into his chest to keep him at bay. “From the moment I saw you, I knew you were going to be mine. You make me crazy, Skylar. I can’t think or function without you. I love you, and you walked out on me. Fine, I got angry a few times. Maybe I even said some things I shouldn’t have. But you left me. I never walked away from you. And now that you’re pregnant, I can’t let you do that again.”
