Matching underwear.I didn’t expect anything less. I myself am not much of a lingerie person, I throw on what fits and is clean, but Lilian and her perfection would never—I know so much now.
I lick my way back up and massage one of her breasts with my hand. Her soft moan confirms that what I am doing is just about right.
I pull down the cup from her left breast, revealing what I desire. My tongue trails around her nipple, which hardens with every circle I draw around it. My lips encase it as I suck on her breast and massage her other breast with my hand.
I wonder if she likes it rougher, so I bite her nipple. Not too hard, but hard enough to make her squeak and throw her head back up.
I look up to check if she liked it, and what I see is a fiery gaze.
A smile curves my mouth.
Lilian grabs me by my jacket, aiming to get rid of it, but the very moment my body stiffens.
I suddenly realize what I am doing here.
This is Lilian.
I can’t.
I can’t let it happen.
Fear surges through me, and my stomach plummets.
I take a step back as my thoughts overwhelm me.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, but her words are so far away.
I feel too much.
I am scared.
I am never scared.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
I can’t be with her as Ella.
The lie I can’t hold up.
Because I am too deep in.
I am.
Not Ella.
I am.
Because of all the feelings I have.
And it cannot be.
It just can’t.
I need to avenge what she, Sutton, and all the others have done.
I stumble back another step.
Fear consumes my chest.
