Theo frowned and shook his head. “I never heard of the king having a private guard. Unless it was asecretprivate guard. And I never came across someone with his name there.”
Heavy unease settled in Jade’s gut. Just because Theo didn’t know of him didn’t mean Nicolas had been untruthful. He could have been secret, as Theo said. But still. Something wrong about it weaseled its way into the back of Jade’s mind.
Theo continued, breaking Jade from her thoughts. “I guess you’re going to say you went to Lesseine last night on his orders, as well.”
“Not exactly.” Jade shifted on the bed toward Theo. She wanted his warmth to reach her, wanted to remain close to him. He was upset, but hopefully not enough to be angry with her. Yet.
“I was looking for evidence of what Arabella discovered.” While Jade had already told Theo of everything she’d learned during her meeting with Marguerite, she hadn’t told him she had planned to go investigate it on her own. “It’s clearly part of the issue between her and Grannam, and it makes me wonder if there’s something about Reynauld we should know before he’s crowned king.”
Theo watched Jade intently as she spoke, some of the severity gone from his expression. “How did you end up in Reynauld’s rooms? You said you were afraid he was being targeted.”
“I noticed a window open,” Jade said, keeping the story as succinct as she could. “I thought the assassin had broken in. I checked on Arabella first, then Reynauld, but he was awake. He thought I was the assassin, so he grabbed a knife and attacked me. I hit my head, and it threw me off my game. It’s how I got these.” She pointed to the wounds Reynauld had inflicted.
“So how did you get away?” The genuine pain for her in Theo’s eyes was so apparent that it cut Jade open anew.
Jade’s heart accelerated as she got to the part she’d been dreading. “It wasn’t the assassin who’d come in after me at all. It was Nicolas.”
Too much time passed in which Theo said nothing. He stared at Jade, his frown deepening, as if he could see through her to the truth she had yet to reveal.
“And what exactly was he doing there?”
It was clear enough that Theo held suspicions about Nicolas. Jade had to walk the razor thin line of keeping those suspicions in check while telling Theo the whole truth of what happened the previous night.
“He came after me, apparently.” Jade shrugged, hoping the movement appeared more casual than it felt. “He realized I was going solo and wanted to make sure I didn’t get in over my head.”
Theo’s hands clenched into fists at his side, and a muscle twitched in his jaw. “You should have asked me to go with you.” The words came out strained but not unkind. “We talked about this Jade, after the last time you got into a mess on a mission alone.”
Jade dropped her eyes with the weighty shame that settled on the backs of her shoulders. “I know. I should have. I’m so sorry.” She couldn’t form the words to say that Nicolas had threatened Theo. Had warned Jade to stay away from him.
Theo briefly closed his eyes and shook his head, as if pushing them past the topic. “So he followed you out there and saved you from Reynauld?”
“In a nutshell.”
“And then what?” Theo’s gaze landed on the line of stitches on the puffy, raised skin. He angled his head toward it. “He did that?”
Jade nodded, wishing for something to ease the pain of what she was about to tell him. She wouldn’t keep it from Theo, and she already hated what she knew it would do to him.
Her lips parted to speak, her mouth cotton as she tried to form the words. “He took me back to the bunker and stitched me up. And...I don’t know what came over me. Maybe part of it was the head injury. I guess...I guess it was relief and...gratitude.” Jade couldn’t bear to look at Theo, but she felt his gaze on her, searing and unwavering. She wrung her hands in her lap, twisting the skin till it hurt. “We kissed.”
Like being drawn to the sight of something gruesome that one doesn’t want to see but can’t tear their eyes away from, Jade flicked her eyes up to Theo in a moment of self-deprecation. The tendons of his neck protruded as he tensed, his pain and anger palpable. He turned his face from Jade as he ground his teeth. With his lack of response, Jade had to fill the suffocating silence.
“I’m so sorry, Theo.” Her words came out as little more than a whisper, unexpected emotion catching in her throat. She hated seeing Theo hurt. She hated how her own foolish actions caused him so much pain.
Theo shot away from the bed, taking several steps away and running both hands hard through his hair, gripping either side of his head. He kept his back to Jade as a huff left his lips. “Youkissedhim?” The incredulity in his voice lodged another barb of pain in her heart.
Tears welled in Jade’s eyes, and she gripped the bed on either side of her as her body began to tremble. “I never wanted to hurt you. Ever.”
“What does that make me to you, Jade?” A cool steel edged his words, attempting to hide the hurt.
“Theo, I love you.”
“Do you lovehim?” Theo spun on his heel to face Jade. Their gazes locked, and Jade’s heart broke all over again at the pain in his magnificent blue eyes.
“What? No, I—” Jade let out an astonished breath, shaking her head. “It was a mistake. I only told you because I don’t want to keep anything from you anymore.”
Fuming waves rolled off Theo as Jade watched him for a beat, then two, then three. He said nothing in reply, dropping his eyes from her again, and he pressed his lips into a thin line. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as he clearly attempted to keep his anger from getting the best of him.
Jade’s heart clenched. Was this it for them? Had she lost Theo because of this? Nausea swirled in her stomach at the thought. How could she have been so stupid? She never should have kissed Nicolas. Looking back, she wasn’t exactly sure why she had. Jade didn’t remotely care for Nicolas like she cared for Theo. And to potentially lose him over such a horrible, foolish decision...Jade almost crumbled with regret.
