The lines on Theo’s brow finally receded as his expression relaxed. “Why haven’t you told anyone this? Commander Matherson, at least.”
Jade shook her head as her eyes found her knees. “I was afraid he wouldn’t want me following leads from an unknown source, and I didn’t want to give up such good information. You know how rigid the military is,and this was helping me make progress without waiting around for protocol. And...it’s gotten me two promotions in a short amount of time.”
She didn’t want to look up and see Theo’s reaction to her own selfish motives. Yes, it was true that the information had helped the military in The Claim, but she had personally benefited from her leads as well. No doubt Theo didn’t approve of that.
When he didn’t speak, she added in a whisper, “You know why I want those promotions, what I want to do. The faster I get there, the sooner I can make a difference.”
A new tenderness filled Theo’s eyes. Jade wanted to do whatever she could to eradicate the law calling for the execution of magic-wielders, or at least help them as much as possible, and Theo was well aware. They both understood her desire to rise the ranks in the military was so that she might reach a position of authority where she could effect change. She was too much like her parents, and it was the best way she knew to honor their memory.
“So you just came by information and didn’t take it to Matherson before diving headfirst into following it?” A subtle criticism edged Theo’s words, as Jade expected. He wasn’t going to let her use it as an excuse for going rogue.
“It played well enough into my assignments and wasn’t risky, especially at first. Since I didn’t know where the information came from, I didn’t run it by Matherson in case he shut down potentially good leads for the sake of them not being verified.” Jade’s shoulders sagged, her right one throbbing with a dull ache. “When I realized the information was helpful, I knew I couldn’t ignore it. But I was still afraid that if I brought the leads to Matherson, he’d shut it down until the military was able to verify the source.”
Jade flicked her eyes up momentarily to glance at Theo when he failed to respond. He was watching her, but his expression was not judgmental.
“It definitely wasn’t the right way to go about things, and it could have ended badly if the leads had been false or things had gotten dangerous.” Thelast ounce of reproach left his tone. “But you were still doing the work. You earned those promotions.”
Jade’s face whipped up, his words taking her by surprise. “You’re not upset with me?”
Theo angled his head. “I didn’t say that. I’m upset you’ve been risking your neck following leads without knowing the source. And you need to tell Matherson about this.”
She nodded, guilt weighing heavy on her heart. He was probably right.
“But I trust your judgment.” His voice was little more than a murmur, and his eyes radiated honesty.
Tears stung the backs of Jade’s eyes, but she blinked them away. He’d always stuck by her and supported her. A wave of relief dislodged some of the guilt.
“How does this explain the shoulder?” he asked, uncrossing his arms to rest his palms beside him on the desk, his fingers curling over the edge. “And are you hurt anywhere else?”
A sheepish smile tugged on Jade’s cheeks. “Basically, my whole body aches. I got the tip about Arthur and wanted to catch the assassin, so I decided to take it on by myself. I couldn’t find a way in and ended up on the roof. And up there, I found the killer.”
Theo’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “He was still there?”
Jade nodded. “I chased him along the roof until he made it to a drain pipe and shimmied down. Then I tried to follow him down the drain pipe, but my foot slipped. I managed to catch myself and tore my arm out of socket in the process, so I ended up falling the rest of the way to the ground.”
“Jade,” Theo said in a breath, fear etched on his face. He pushed off the desk and took her hand, forcing her out of the chair and leading her to the bed. “Sit here; it’s more comfortable. I can get you something for the pain.”
But he didn’t leave the room. He didn’t so much as leave her side. Theo sat beside her, the mattress sinking with his weight. Concern flooded the bluepools of his eyes as he took her in, seeming to assess every inch of her that he could see for injuries. Once his perusal was complete, his eyes locked onto hers. A breath puffed out his parted lips and he shook his head a millimeter. His next words, barely above a whisper, were ripe with his own anguish. “Why didn’t you ask me to go with you?”
Jade scrunched her eyebrows together and briefly closed her eyes. “I should have. I thought about it. I thought about telling you all of this and asking you to come with me, but I decided I could handle it by myself.” She let out a humorless laugh. “I was so wrong. It was all I could think about after I fell off the roof, that I wished you were there with me.”
Theo tenderly picked up the hand of her good arm, twining their fingers on top of the bed. His stare bore into her, speaking to his sincerity. “I would have gone with you in a heartbeat.”
The uncontrollable rhythm of Jade’s heart spiked with Theo’s gentle touch and soft words.Thiswas the Theo she had longed for after her misunderstanding in the garden. But things since had revolved around her assignment, the Conflict of Succession, Nicolas...
A lump lodged in her throat with thoughts of Nicolas. She barely knew the man and had no reason to develop any kind of feelings for him. He had been complimentary, yes, and helpful, but his threats and unpredictability weren’t lost on her. She saw it even more clearly now, away from him.
Theo reached up his free hand to tuck a loose lock of hair behind Jade’s ear, pulling her out of her thoughts. His hand remained as he cupped her jaw, running a thumb over her cheek. Again, a memory flashed in Jade’s mind of Nicolas’s knuckles tracing her jaw, but she shoved it away. She wouldn’t allow him to invade this moment any further.
“You know I came here for you,” Theo murmured, his eyes catching the lamplight. “I told you as much when I first arrived, but...everything I did, all these years...I was working to get back to you.”
Jade smiled, her eyes burning. For years, she had longed to be with Theo again. She had accepted it was up to the whims of those in power whether they would ever be in the same place again. But Theo hadn’t.
He continued, apparently bolstered by her expression, his mouth quirking in response to her smile. “And it wasn’t only because we always said we wanted to be on base together, or because you’re my oldest friend.” Theo took a shaky breath. “You have been the driving force behind all that I’ve done. You are at the center of my very being. You’re the sun my world revolves around.”
The sting of tears bit her eyes, but she welcomed them this time. This wasn’t a dream or her mind crafting the interaction she’d longed for. Theo was saying these things to her, here, now.
His voice dropped to almost inaudible levels. “I love you, Jade. I always have.”
