And then in one moment that was gone, replaced with fear and insecurity and doubt on both sides.
Yeah, therapy would probably do us both some good.
It was hard to be Mase’s Dominant when I was so fucking worried about him being taken from me. I wanted to chain him to the bed, ensuring he couldn’t escape or be spirited away. Our path in life was twisty-turny. We’d gone from two boys who didn’t want to have anything to do with each other, to two men who couldn’t live without each other.
My parents kept insisting I talk to him, tell him the truth. I wanted to, really I did, but every time I was ready to broach the subject, something came up and it got pushed further away. Right now would be a bad time, because he was so stressed it might drive him over the edge, or he could get pissed because I hadn’t shared it before this.
I knew which path I’d take.
Okay, fine. I was afraid he’d head for the hills.. This would be life-changing for him and me. What bothered me was that I hadn’t come up with a way to make it balance for both of us.
But I would. Mase would know what I was keeping from him.
One way, or another.
Mason
I lay in bed with my eyes closed, hoping Kip would fall asleep. It took a long while, but eventually his breathing evened out. I moved gently, rolling onto my side to look at him. He was far more handsome as an adult than he’d been as a kid. He had muscles and hair on his chest, but the one thing that hadn’t changed was his kindness.
I think that’s what attracted me to him in the first place.
He’d said once that he thought he’d been my Dominant since we were little. Something from our shared past had been an indication of that. I never shared the story with anyone, but Kip had gotten sick once. He had a temperature of 103 degrees, sweating and freezing at the same time. It had horrified me to see him laid low like that. His parents tried to tell me I couldn’t sit with him, but I persisted. Wolves couldn’t catch human illnesses, so I knew I was perfectly safe. Eventually, my parents told his that I’d been immunized, which was a lie, but they allowed me to stay in his room with him.
I’d gotten a washcloth with cool water and held it to his head, getting up every few minutes and refreshing the damp rag. It had taken several hours, but finally a weight lifted from my chest when he sighed and the rigidity went out of his body. His temperature slowly receded, and I cried like a baby. I knew I needed him beside me. I hadn’t realized at that point he was my Dominant, just that he was a friend I never wanted to see walk away.
Or leave me alone.
He got better, of course. He’d been so out of it, he never realized I’d been there until his parents told him. He probably didn’t know it, but our relationship changed after that. Nothing huge, just subtle things. He was freer with his affections. Finding out I was gay didn’t impact that at all. He hugged me, and held my hands when things were rough. He was like a boyfriend I didn’t kiss or have sex with no matter how much I wanted to experience that. With him.
“You’re not sleeping.” Kip sounded drowsy as he reached for my hand. “Want me to make you some hot cocoa?”
That sounded delicious, but it would require him to get out of bed. “Nah, it’s fine.”
He grumbled as he sat up. “Do you not trust me as your Dominant?”
What kind of dumb ass question is that?
“What a stupid thing to say!” I snapped.
He raised his brows. “Is it? Really? Because you keep holding me at arms’ length for months, despite saying you’re not. You’ve been doing it since we started our relationship.”
It was true and we both knew it. I’d said as much, but he calmed me, at least until the pressure built up and made me so scared I could scarcely breathe.
“I’m your Dominant, Mason. It’s not something that was forced on me. Ichoseto do it.”
My lip trembled. “But why? It just doesn’t make any sense.”
“Of course it does,” he countered. He squeezed my fingers. “We’ve always been the best of friends. Not once in your life have you ever given me reason to doubt we would always be together in some way, shape, or form. Was I surprised? Yes, of course. I mean, no one ever expects a werewolf to tell someone they’re going to be dominant in a relationship. Even though it makes perfect sense. I mean, I’m me and you’re… well, not me.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. That was Kip’s power over me. He held me together with duct tape and sticks, never allowing me to break fully.
Except I have now, haven’t I?
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you.” The words came out as a vow.
“Not me.” I looked him in the eye. “You. I’m afraid someone will hurt you, because that would kill me.”
