When the silence began to stretch, I knew he was done telling me his story, and I felt that perhaps I owed it to him to share my own. It was surprisingly hard to get started, and for a moment, I wished I could do as he did, push all the things I felt aside. He’d told me about the Rummicaron mind exercises yesterday, ones they practiced daily to assert that cool, rational numbness. It hadn’t worked for me then, but it definitely helped mefeel calmer now.
“I wasn’t on Rumcas, but I imagine there are similar situations to yours on many of the Rummicaron worlds…” I said. No, Rumcas was a major port in the Rummicaron empire, but the planet I’d visited on my aid mission with the Aderian relief troops had been far poorer—a backwater world nobody cared about, where Roka consumption was so huge that not only was the pollution from it terrible, but half the population was always drugged out of their minds using it.
Jaxin did not respond, so I soldiered on. “It still haunts my dreams, the sight of the production mills and the strung-out people in the roads. So many sick.” I shuddered, the hacking coughs that had filled the air everywhere I’d gone echoing in my ears. “I was supposed to help, but… the pollution was so heavy, there was nothing we could do. That’s why I decided to find the cure, to end that nightmare.” I felt both selfish and proud for having made this my task, because I knew I did it for me as much as for them: to silence the dreadful coughing noises echoing in my dreams, to erase sunken, sallow faces and vacant expressions from my memories.
“This is why you rarely sleep well?” Jaxin asked. He sounded grim now, but I didn’t feel anything from him. Perhaps he was so used to the sights that haunted me, having grown up with them, that he reallywasnumb. Then again, the moment he’d learned this was about Roka pollution, he’d wanted to help me achieve my goal anyway he could. I did not have to doubt, even once, that Jaxin wanted to use my cure—if I succeeded—to help everyone who needed it: for his parents, and for his sister, Bexlin, whom he had clearlyadored, even if his voice had not reflected that when he spoke her name.
We were both so lost in thought as we hiked through the jungle the rest of the day that conversation was impossible. I didn’t try; instead, I focused intently on erasing the darkness that now clung to my mind. If I didn’t manage to think of brighter, happier things, I’d be engulfed by nightmares tonight. No, the thought of sleep did not appeal, not even when the day wore on and my body grew more and more tired. This was a tough hike, through the sluggish muck and compost that layered the ground.
By late afternoon, we were going uphill, and finally the ground dried out enough for the flowers I was after to make their appearance. A handful here or there, until a clearing opened up ahead with a lush field of grass dotted with the colorful heads of the plant I wanted. We both drew a sigh of relief at the sight.
“I’ll check the perimeter; you collect your samples,” Jaxin said gruffly. He trudged away to circle the small area with slow, precise steps, his massive laser cannon cradled in his arms and his gaze swiveling alertly left and right. All day, we had not seen hide nor hair of the Radin giant that had so stubbornly tracked us yesterday. Perhaps we really had managed to shake him after our night in that underwater cave. Jaxin, at least, acted like he was still nearby, and that made me stretch out my empathic sense to do my own check.
I could not feel the trees or the animals that scuttled around high up in the branches. I felt Jaxin like a blank spot that covered something huge I couldn’t quite reach. My hope—that I could find the key to this cure withmore samples—burned brightly, and there, almost entirely on the edge of my awareness, was curiosity. It was curiosity, but it was also strange and foreign, like it didn’t taste entirely the same as Aderian or Kertinal curiosity. The Radin giant had followed us after all—not to attack, but to observe.
“We’ve got company, Dani,” Jaxin barked harshly, breaking me from my trance. He came from between two trees at a fast clip and took me by the arm, as if he intended to haul me out of the clearing and to safety. “The giant kept his distance, and he’s damn quiet for a beast his size, but he’s here, watching us. We’ve got to go.”
I dug in my heels and shook my head. “I don’t think so. He’s just curious, Jaxin. I can feel him.” He kept hauling me through the tall grass and waving, sweet-smelling flowers anyway, until we’d reached the edge of the clearing furthest from the giant. “I can sense his emotions,” I said stubbornly, snatching hold of the nearest tree branch and clinging. “He’s curious, that’s it. Not angry, not aggressive, curious!”
This time, Jaxin did stop pulling me, but only so he could use his hands to free my grip on the tree. He was very gentle about it, but also definitely firm. If I didn’t convince him quickly, I knew he might just toss me over his shoulder to get me out of here. That, I couldn’t have, it could spell the end of my attempt at a cure.
“Please, Jaxin. That cannon has scared him off every single time. He just wants to see what we’re up to. He tried to talk to me on the beach last night, I know it. He doesn’t want to fight…” I could feel that, but how could I convince a mercenary trained to expect the worst in any situation? To anticipate danger around every corner?
Jaxin surprised me when he pulled my freed hands to his chest, but did not continue hauling me away. His head tilted to the side as he squinted in the direction where the giant was hidden. I knew we were both thinking the same thing: how was it possible that something so massive was this good at hiding? “Heiskeeping a great amount of distance…” Jaxin murmured thoughtfully. His gaze swept the clearing, with the abundance of flowers we were after, then dropped down to the cannon he was cradling in one arm.
I had a feeling that when he nodded and allowed me to wander back into the clearing, it wasn’t just because he thought it was safe. I rubbed my sternum when I had my back turned to him and wondered how bad the injury to his chest was, if I could feel the echo of it even now. There was no damage to his armor, so when had he sustained it? It felt, if I were honest, more like a pulled muscle than a gaping wound.
“Fine, gather your samples,” he allowed, and he shook out the bag he’d offered earlier to hold them. I took it, along with the kit containing the remaining preservatives and slides, and then I got to work. It was a lovely day, not humid and hot yet, though sweat did cling to the back of my spine from our walk here. If the giant stayed where he was, this could actually be considered peaceful.
Digging up roots was hard work, so that’s where I started, and I took plenty because I knew I wouldn’t be able to come back for more. Once I’d moved on to leaves and petals, I was tired, but my mood was lifting. In my head, I kept tabs on the giant, but he had not moved, all while mulling over the issues with my cure. How could I keep the keycomponent in this flower from degrading before it had done its job and purged the body of pollutants?
There was a small stream burbling from between a few rocks that catered to this drier, elevated bit of ground. I knelt beside it to wash up, and, with the Radin sun heating the clearing, dared to slip my shirt off, so I was left only in the small, supportive top I wore beneath it. The water was cool, and it was sweet when I drank from it. Aware that Jaxin was now watching me instead of the trees, chill bumps broke out along my spine. I’d never felt free to appreciate the attraction of a male, but with Jaxin, that felt so easy, so natural. He made me aware that I was more than an empath and a scientist; I was also a woman.
“I have what I need,” I told the eyes staring into my back. “But can we rest a little longer?” I did not explain why I wanted to linger here, and he did not seem to need any explanation. He said neither yes nor no, but his eyes continued to burn into my skin. I picked a dried bristle from a nearby plant and tested its strength on my hair. When it didn’t break, I began using the improvised comb to untangle the knots from the long black strands.
After a short while, footsteps approached through the tall grass. I saw the glint of silver and chrome as Jaxin laid the cannon down next to my hip. He blocked out the warmth of the sun, but it was more heat that crashed into me; his heat. “Let me,” he said, and his hand curled around mine to arrest the downward stroke in my long hair. I froze and held my breath, then carefully slipped my fingers from between his and the bristle, and waited. Jaxin, offering to comb my hair? It was a mind-melting concept.
The bristle hung on the first knot, and when he applied a bit more force, it broke in his hand. Silently, I offered him a new one, but he spent a careful moment picking the bristle that had shattered from my hair. “Sorry,” he said, and I waved that away, still so awed that I couldn’t find any words to say. Was it a sensual act, to have him do this for me? My hair felt like a tangled bird’s nest after two days on the run, swimming, and enduring the humid heat of the jungle.
After a few more attempts with the improvised comb, he got the hang of it. I closed my eyes, head tilted back, and reveled in each slow stroke of the comb. All too soon, he’d gone through all the knots, and my hair draped once again in shiny waves down my back. He surprised me even further when he gathered it gently at the nape of my neck and began braiding the long length.
“Rummicaron don’t have hair,” he said with a hint of something in his tone that made my empathic gift rear its head. He was feeling things, but they were still behind the shields of his impeccable control. Only the vaguest echo of them came to me, easy to handle, pleasant to absorb. He was feeling placid, happy perhaps, and a little contemplative. “I remember that my sister would moan with envy about all that long Aderian hair. She’d say, ‘How is it fair that one species gets none, and another gets to grow pretty silk strands down to their ankles?’”
I laughed, surprised that a Rummicaron would have such thoughts. Envy was also a feeling that should not be encouraged, but perhaps his sister had been closer to hers thanks to working in a Roka plant. “My hair isn’t down to my ankles, that’s a rarity,” I pointed out. The strands reached to my tailbone, and that was plenty longenough. Sometimes I wished it weren’t of such cultural importance to leave our hair long and unbound. “And if she didn’t have hair, then where did you learn to braid?”
That was answered when his hand flicked to the cannon lying in the grass beside me. The strap he used to sling it over his shoulder was made of thickly braided leather. Was he implying he’d made that himself? It did look custom-made. Now that I was looking more closely at the impractically large weapon, I had more questions—like why the thick barrel had scratches, but the rest of the chrome looked shiny and new. Or why he even carried this instead of a laser rifle, like the rest of his friends did.
“There, that should keep it out of the way.” Jaxin finished the braid in my hair by tying it off with several strands of coarse, dry grass. As far as improvised hair ties went, I had my doubts that it would hold for long; for now, though, I was pleased to have the hair out of the way. I touched the sleek braid to discover he’d done a great job. Now that it was done, he did not move away, he remained kneeling right behind me, with his knees on either side of my legs. So close. So very temptingly close.
Chapter 13
Jaxin
“Rummicaron don’t mate for life, right?” she asked me, her body a sleek curve between my legs as she twisted to look over her shoulder. So tempting, so sweet, it felt like the air between us was charged with the force of desire I felt for her. My little empath could probably feel that. The secret was out, and she did not seem to judge me for it. Why would she? Her entire being was about feelings, her own and those of others.
“We do not mate for life, no,” I agreed. Though once, very long ago, the stories said that we did. The possessive aggression that came with claims had nearly torn our society asunder; it had kept us in the mud and the oceans. It wasn’t until scholars and priests came together to devise a way to subdue our volatile feelings that the Rummicaron rose tobecome a powerful, spacefaring nation in the Zeta Quadrant—a nation that rivaled others, like the Kertinal, the Asrai, or the Aderians.
“What did you mean earlier, when you said, ‘unless I want to tangle with the true Rummicaron beast’? Is that what you’re hiding? Here?” She turned completely, one hand bracing against my thigh and sending a scorching sensation through my flesh straight to my cock. The other rose to lie against my sternum, against the space that, several months ago, had been cracked open wide.
