Dex beams. “Great. First order of business: I am also your emotional support menace.”
“That isn’t a thing,” Coach says.
“It is now,” Dex replies, already pulling out his phone. “I have notes.”
Mason groans like he’s considering early retirement.
“Dex,” I say, “what are you doing?”
“Helping,” he says, offended. “You’re welcome. Captain, you especially need help because your flirting technique is ‘eye contact, then apologize.’”
“That’s not true.”
Dex scrolls like he’s searching for evidence in a court case. “It’s literally true. I watched you say sorry to a woman when she bumped into you at the grocery store.”
“She hit me with a cart.”
“And you said sorry,” Dex says triumphantly.
A few guys laugh.
Coach rubs his forehead. “Five minutes,” he mutters. “You have five minutes. Then we’re done.”
Dex claps his hands together. “Timer starts now. Contestants, take your positions.”
Gregory actually sits up straighter.
Mason doesn’t move. “I’m already in my position. It’s called ‘resentful.’”
Dex points at a whiteboard near the equipment rack. “Someone keep score.”
Before anyone can stop him, Eli drags a marker across it and writes:
COLBY MASON GREGORY
Then he draws three little hearts like a man trying to be supportive against his will.
Dex clears his throat dramatically. “Question one. Love language.”
Mason says, “Silence.”
Dex blinks. “That’s not a…”
“Silence,” Mason repeats.
Eli writes it down anyway and adds a little star beside Mason’s name.
Dex points at Gregory. “Gregory Mills.”
Gregory nods once like he’s been preparing his whole life for this moment. “Acts of service. Quality time. Words of affirmation, but only if they’re specific.”
The room goes quiet.
Dex whispers, “Are you trying to seduce the IRS?”
Gregory frowns. “The IRS wouldn't be a compatible partner.”
“Correct,” Dex says. “But your answer was terrifyingly thorough.”
