“I wasn’t searching for it,” I say.
Nancy holds up a finger. “Then let’s talk logistics. You know, since you’re treating this like a product launch.”
“It is a product launch,” I say.
Paige gasps. “Are you calling yourself a product?”
“I’m calling this moment a vehicle for awareness.”
Nancy exhales. “Okay. Vehicle for awareness. What’s the message?”
“That I’m the kind of woman who can be on a stage with professional athletes and not melt into a puddle of fan behavior,” I say. “I’m there for a cause. I’m poised. I’m polished. I have standards.”
Paige lifts her glass again. “She has standards.”
The waiter leans in. “Standards are hot.”
Nancy points at him without looking. “Go away.”
He retreats, but not before whispering, “Team Captain,” like a prayer.
Paige waits until he’s out of earshot. “Okay. First question: what are you wearing?”
“A dress,” I say.
Paige squints. “That’s not an answer.”
Nancy nods. “True, that’s not an answer.”
“It’s literally an answer,” I say.
Paige shakes her head. “We need amessagedress. Something that says: I’m sexy but not desperate. I’m fun but not available. I’m confident but also…”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Nancy says.
Paige finishes anyway. “... approachable.”
“No,” I say immediately.
Paige blinks. “No?”
“Approachable is how you end up trapped in a conversation with a man who says ‘Let’s talk about crypto’ on a first date,” I say.
Paige claps once. “Fair.”
Nancy leans back. “So what do you want to be?”
Paige raises her hand. “Horny."
I deadpan. “Unmistakable.”
Nancy sighs. “I regret inviting both of you.“
I lift my chin. “I want to walk on stage and make it clear this is not a fantasy audition. I’m not there to be selected. I’m there to select.”
Paige presses her hand to her chest. “Hot.”
Nancy points at her again. “Inside voice.”
