DaiSzek guards Niles’s body underthe shade of a red oak tree while I walk with my family back to our house.
Moments after we arrive, so do Niklaus and my daughter. Both shivering, covered in a dark blood and their skin a tint of blue. Dessin ran to Sapphire first. My daughter appeared numb and in a dissociative daze until she saw him coming. Her arms flung around his neck, and she bawled into his shoulder, sounding like a little girl again. My husband rubbed her back rigorously, chasing the chill from her bones while he whispered many things that only seemed to make her cry harder. I’ve dreamed of this very moment so many times. Dreams that seemed to dwindle away in an effort to protect my sanity. But as I watched them with tears running down my soot-covered face, I grabbed onto Nile’s boy.
He stared blankly as I rubbed his ice-cold back. I asked him if he wanted to be the one to tell his mother. He shook his head.
As we reach the lagoon, Dessin takes my hand in his and sets a firm kiss against my fingers. I grind my teeth to the point of searing pain blooming up the sides of my face. All to keep from breaking apart in front of my children.
But this is Niles.
My brother.
How am I supposed to hold it all together?
“You’re not leading the family alone anymore, baby,” Dessin whispers, stroking a thumb over my cheekbone. “I’m here now.”
I want nothing more than to fall into his arms and cry until my lungs go up in flames. Every ounce of self-control I have is keeping me on a tight leash. He’s my soulmate, and he’s back. There is no way to explain how I cannot settle on a feeling or thought when it comes to the sheer joy I feel about getting to climb into bed with my husband tonight and how I will ever mentally say goodbye to Niles.
Thinking about his name makes me want to watch his captor burn all over again.
Thinking about that last smile he gave me breaks a steel wall that’s keeping my meltdown held away from the public eye with a neat little bow.
Niles.
Niles.
Niles.
That’s my brother.
My brother.
I hear DaiSzek howl in the distance, and Dessin has to clutch my waist to keep my knees from buckling.
I hold on tighter, protecting my unpredictable emotions in a hidden cave of my mind.
Get through today.
Just make it until you’re all alone tonight.
Dessin inhales softly against my hair and kisses my temples.
Not alone.
Niles would be so happy for me.
I can do this. My children are behind me, sniffling and holding onto one another. My family is hanging on by a thread. I can do this.
A few steps away from the front porch, my front door swings open, and Chekiss quickly walks out, followed by Warrose and Ruth.
“You two made it home!” Chekiss cheers in a rusty voice. He jogs with wooden, short strides to Sapphire and Niklaus with open arms. They appear dazed and drowning as they accept his hug.
“Thank God!” Ruth sighs.
Warrose points at Krimson. “Never doubted you, buddy.”
Their smiles of relief pummel my chest. I feel stunned into place like a small animal being cornered by a lethal predator. I can only observe the short moments of them not knowing and live here a few seconds longer.
“How far did you go back in time?!” Ruth asks Sapphire.
