Aurick’s eyes suddenly look sober as they open wide to process my statement. He bows his head in remorse, shaking it side to side. “Shit—I didn’t mean it. Oh God, what have I done?!”
My right eye waters up as it burns from impact. I sigh in relief that he has snapped out of his spontaneous rage and isn’t going to keep attacking. “I’m okay,” I whisper.
In the beginning, when my father first began to change into the monster he became, he would hit me and then briefly apologize afterward as if he regained his conscious morals. I grew accustomed to telling him it was okay after he had struck me. After a few months, he eventually stopped apologizing.
Aurick scoops me into his arms. “I don’t know what came over me. I swear to God, Sky, I won’t ever lay a hand on you again! I can’t believe I did that.” Thin, hardly noticeable tears spill from one eye. He kisses the top of my head and sobs lightly into my hair. I’m sick to my stomach at the thought of this happening to me again. I finally escaped my father, and now it seems that he has found me again. I can’t help but have feelings of abandonment toward Dessin. Did he know this would happen? Is this what he was talking about when he said leave her alone? At the moment when Aurick reached his anger and violence, I wished Dessin would save me.
“I’m okay,” I repeat. He abruptly turns to the can and hurls again. I stand up. “I’m going to get some ice for this,” I say with my back turned to him. He doesn’t answer. Silence. I glance over my shoulder to see himpassedout on the floor.
Thank God.
As I lay my head down with a bag of ice resting over my right eye, Dessin’s words ring through my thoughts.
He’ll hurt you. The way Jack hurt you.
45. Spectral Man
This morning I try torecall if it was Aurick’s hand or a frying pan that hit my eye and part of my cheekbone. He left before me this morning—either avoiding me or completely forgetting about events that cloud over my head.
I see Chekiss and Niles first, introducing them to Ruth. We sit on the terrace of the asylum, and they all ask why my eye is practically glued shut. Delphine covered the bruise with thick, creamy makeup. Unfortunately, there was no way to cover the swelling. I let her know I would just tell people that I fell down the stairs. None of them nodded convincingly, but they were too polite to question me further.
After an hour, it becomes abundantly clear that Niles and Ruth donotenjoy the other’s company.
“Why must you speak so vulgarly?” Ruth sneers as she finishes off her breakfast.
“I have trust issues.” Stone expression. Serious. Which Niles rarely was.
“And why is that?” she asks genuinely—fully expecting a genuine answer.
He licks the tip of his spoon while maintaining eye contact with her.Here we go.
“Because Skylenna brought me lime Jell-O when I asked for pudding.”
After a second of silence, Chekiss barks out a rough laugh, tipping his head back with his eyes shut. And I am flooded with warm surprise, my cheeks turning hot at the pleasant sound.
As I rise to leave them, Ruth whispers in my ear. “I want to talk about what really happened to your eye… later.” And I won’t deny her that. As a woman living under the same standards, I know she will understand.
Niles gives me a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye, and I feel my stomach churning with each step that brings me closer to his room. I know the right thing to do is to keep it from him; at all costs, do not tell Dessin what happened last night. It will save everyone the stress and heartache. I can do that. I’ve held it together since I left Aurick’s room that night. I’ve sucked in my tears and placed my trembling despair in a locked drawer.
Stepping into the thirteenth room, I see him sitting there on his bed, his eyes immediately drawn to the right side of my face. And merely locking eyes with him is like opening a closet door that is filled to the ceiling with items compacted together. Everything I have comes falling to pieces, crumbling to my feet in a weak downpour.
I reach for something to hold me up as I fight to hold in the sobs that rattle my frame. The cry produces a new supply of warm tears, and I can no longer hide the imminent breakdown.
Dessin is unleashed of his shackles, racing to my side and holding me up by my waist. I grip his arms, squeezing my feeble hands over his muscles. His forehead touches mine. “He hurt you.” And his voice is a husky growl, the awakening of a new beast.
I nod against him, weeping softly as I try to open my eyes and explain. To tell him that I’m okay. It’s happened before.I’m okay. I’m always okay. I can handle this. I always handle this.But I can’t lie to him. I can’t hide the terror still crunching down on my bones after last night. I thought that part of my life had ended. But I traded one monster in for another.
“Goddammit.” He squeezes his eyes shut and uses his left hand to move my hair away from my face. “I’llendhim.” There isn’t an ounce of doubt. Only unlimited confidence and a blizzard of fury lighting a fire behind his eyes, showing me the volcano in him once more, with two strong hands that could wipe out the world.
“I’m scared,” I murmur into his chest.
And I am. I can’t tell if this is a one-time occurrence. I hadn’t realized how deeply affected I was by his knuckles until I saw my reflection in the warmth of Dessin’s eyes. I’m ashamed of myself. I wish I wasn’t this person that can’t fight back.
Coward. Coward. Coward.
My words cause him to melt into me. He wraps his arms around my waist, and in response, my arms move around his neck with my tear-stained cheek resting on his shoulder.
“Tell me what happened.”
