“We need only to attend two more events, then slowly step back. Our absences will be noted, and so it shall be more convincing when news of our engagement ending is made known.”
The hood of her cloak slipped off her head and showed him her unbound hair. The waves shone like gold.
Matteo knew this was the eventual end to the arrangement, though he did not expect it to be so soon.
Or perhaps wished that it would not end at all.
What foolishness was he thinking? He was merely surprised; that was all.
“If that is your wish,” Matteo replied, imitating her formal manner.
Helena nodded. Then, realizing that her hood had slipped off, pulled it back on and smoothed her skirts.
“I must return home. Thank you, Matteo,” she said, this time earnestly, in the voice that he knew.
“Helena.” Matteo walked towards her and stopped only when they stood a breath apart. “Is this really what you want?”
“It is, it must be.” This time, her eyes roamed his face. “This was never real.”
Her words seemed to echo in the silent room. Without knowing it, his hand moved to brush her cheek.
“It feels real now. This feels real,” Matteo murmured.
It seemed as if the entire room had vanished, as if they stood in a place where time did not matter. How long they stood looking at each other, Matteo could not say. But there was one thing that he was sure of: he wanted Helena to stay.
With a trembling breath, Helena stepped back. She closed her eyes and turned to go.
No.
Matteo grasped her hand, stopping her. She froze, the tension in her body evident even in the darkened room.
He turned her around abruptly to face him, hands on her arms he gathered her close. Stopping for a moment, he waited for herto push him away. When she did not, Matteo brushed his thumb lightly against Helena’s lips. They met each other in a breathless kiss. Weeks of restraint and wanting all poured out in that one moment. They gripped each other as if never wanting to let go.
When the kiss ended, Helena stepped back and looked at him. Matteo, with a sinking feeling, knew what it was that she was about to say.
“After the remaining events, we shall finish this.” Helena took another step back. “And then, Your Grace, we must never meet again.”
Helena hastily turned from him and almost ran towards the door.
Matteo watched her go, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.
He had called himself a number of names before, but now he knew that he most deserved to be called a coward.
He ran a hand over his hair, feelings that he had never known existed coursed through him. She was wrong; whatever it was between Helena and him would not end. All the pretense would, but this,this, could not.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Must we attend Lady Lister’s dinner party?” Chastity stood at the open door of the breakfast room; she held the schedule for their social events for the next week in one hand. Her other hand was braced against her waist.
Helena sighed. She detected another argument coming. Recently, every conversation with Chastity seemed to end in an argument. Her sister had not just grown distant and silent; she had also become short-tempered and argumentative. Helena would have preferred the troublesome Chastity of a few years ago, for that sister she could somewhat predict. And that Chastity did not resent her as this one did.
She put down her fork and turned towards her, the breakfast that she had just started, rendered forgotten. Across the dining table, Faith and Grace turned to look at Chastity as well.
“You know we must, Chastity,” Helena said. We can hardly refuse her invitation. Lady Lister is Mama’s cousin.”
“But it shall be mostly people her age that will be in attendance,” Chastity replied. “This ismyseason; the events I go to should be for me. What is the sense of going at all? It shall be a waste of time!”
“The sense is that Lady Lister is a family connection.”
