Speechless at her sister’s words, Helena stumbled back. She was lost, floating or falling, she was not sure. She had lost all her bearings, everything that she had held on to, now suddenly looked different.
“Helena.”
Upon hearing her name, Helena looked up, confused.
Clarissa Ayles stood just inside Chastity’s chambers, behind her was the earl. Her mother walked into the room, her father still close behind, and headed to Helena.
Clarissa Ayles did something that she had not done in a very long time. She cradled Helena’s face in her hands and kissed her forehead.
“Go, daughter.”
Helena looked from her mother to her father. She watched as they moved Chastity between them. Her father’s arm rested on her sister’s shoulder. Her mother’s hand holding Chastity’s.
Across the room, Faith and Grace wept silently, their arms around each other.
There they stood, her parents. For the first time, with eyes opened to actually see their daughters. For the very first time, aware that they had four daughters who wanted to live their own lives.
As a family, they had a long way to go. But to be willing to start, no matter how late in life they were, was a very good thing.
It is time that I take control of my own life, however small my means may be.
Remembering her promise to herself, Helena felt a lightening in her being. Also, for the first time, she allowed herself to see the possibility of happiness with Matteo. Not just wishful thinking, and not just forbidden thoughts, but a goal—something that she could achieve if only she dared to.
Did she dare to?
It was Matteo’s face, his voice that she saw and heard in her mind.
Do you dare to, Helena?
“Yes,” she whispered.
She took a deep breath, and with a voice that wavered even as it gained confidence, she addressed her family.
“I must go. I must go!”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The carriage fairly flew as Helena called for the coachman to go faster. She was tossed left and right, but she cared not. Never mind that she would probably look like a hag when she reached Valen House, all that Helena cared about was that she reached Matteo before he left for the church.
On the other hand, she did not want to think of what he would say when he saw her, or how he would react to her being in his home unannounced, uninvited. There was a part of her that said he would be happy to see her, but she had been through so much to know that nothing was ever a sure thing.
The carriage slowed down significantly, and Helena’s heart raced to make up for it. She leaned out the window and called to the coachman.
“Baxter, why are we moving so slowly?”
“There is a bit of traffic, m’lady,” the coachman answered. “It is caused by a line of carriages that are all entering Hyde Park. They are clogging up the street, m’lady.”
Helena ground her teeth in impatience.
“I should have just walked! Or ran more like it.”
She must catch Matteo before he leaves for the church. Whether he would listen to her or not, she wanted to spare him the stress of going to the church to find that Chastity would not be there to meet him. She felt that she owed Matteo that at least.
“Is it moving at all, Baxter?” Helena called out again.
“No, m’lady, there seems to be an argument between the two carriages in front that has completely stopped the traffic.”
“Of all the inconsiderate?—”
