“I know that Peter is close friends with the duke, and that during the past year Dahlia has become good friends with him as well.” Celine looked at Dahlia for confirmation, to which a nod of reply was given. “I have yet to meet him, but I did not forget all that I have heard of him as well. Did we not, as former wallflowers ourselves, hear such stories of him, too? The gossip!”
“Exactly!” Helena said. “That is precisely why I had to protect my Chastity from him—indeed, Faith and Grace as well, when it is their turn to enter society.”
“While it is true that we heard those stories before,” Dahlia said, obviously not liking the tone of their conversation, “it is also true that I have come to know him well this past year. He is not so bad as society paints him to be. I mean, he does not actually go off with debutantes or innocent young ladies.”
“I understand what you are saying, Dahlia, but the fact still remains that he has been known as a rake. And whether or not he has, indeed reformed?—”
“Or was never one at all!” Dahlia inserted.
“—he still is, by reputation, not suitable to young ladies, especially those in their first season.” Helena insisted.
Then, lowering her voice, she told them of the scene which passed just moments before they arrived and of how she had reacted and tried to handle the situation.
“He actually, really did call me out on my fib!”
“The cad!” Celine said.
“How utterly unchivalrous of Matteo, I shall give him a piece of?—”
“Pray, you do not, Dahlia.” Helena hastened to reply to her friend. “I have had enough of the gentleman. Ever since my visit to Icedale Castle, I have tolerated his teasing. But no more, I shall do my very best to forget the man. I shall be civil to him,do not worry, for he is still Peter’s friend. But I will, from now on, be indifferent. That is, so long as he behaves as a gentleman towards Chastity.”
“Yes, you do that, dear Helena,” Celine said, holding back a smile, “for it seems that you have been quite busythinkingof forgetting the man.”
Dahlia tried to keep a straight face, but only a heartbeat passed when all three friends burst into laughter.
“There, that is better,” Dahlia said as she took Helena’s hand. “You have been under enormous stress in ensuring Chastity’s successful debut. It is good to see you laugh.”
“Why don’t you take some air?” Celine suggested. “Dahlia and I will stay and keep watch over Chastity while you pause from your responsibilities for a while.”
“Yes. Chastity has improved so much that she hardly requires watching over now. Though we promise not to let her out of our sight. The air will do you good, Helena,” Dahlia urged.
Helena considered her friends’ suggestion. She looked at her sister, who looked to be having an enjoyable time with her current partner. She decided to follow her friends’ recommendation and looked gratefully at them.
“I think I shall heed your advice, thank you. But I shall only be a moment.”
“Take your time, Helena. We are happy to stay with Chastity.”
“Have I told you how glad I am that you are both here?”
She smiled at her friends, thankful that she had them. Then, walking slowly, she turned towards the balcony doors.
The night air was crisp. Coming from the crush of the ballroom, it was a welcome relief to be in an open space with just two or three pairs of evening strollers about. But Helena found that she craved solitude. Looking around, she found the flight of stairs leading down to the gardens.
The night was still. The faint notes of music coming from the ballroom could be heard. The sounds of the night surrounded Helena. She felt invigorated as she found herself quite alone.
“Breathe.”
Taking a deep breath, Helena felt herself relax little by little. The tension that she felt was slowly melting away. She was so rarely alone that the silence was almost reverential to her. Walking to the garden bench near her, she sat down on it and, for the first time that night, felt how tired her legs were. Indeed, she felt tired—inside and out.
It is just the activities of the past few weeks. Chastity’s debut has been such a busy time. It is just that, nothing that a good night’s sleep will not cure.
But even as she thought it, Helena knew that she was simply weary.
Of my life? Of what it has become?
She refused to answer her own question, for indeed, she had no answer to give to herself.
Closing her eyes, she envisioned a small townhouse with a small garden. Tea. A vision of herself sipping tea in the morning room. A library would be nice; her collection of books would finally have its own home. She envisioned herself coming and going as she pleased. Freedom. Peace.
