Helena had never known the feeling of comfort that came from being supported by someone, of knowing that they were there for you. Never—until Matteo.
The solid feel of him, of his arms around her as if to protect her and at the same time comfort her were branded in Helena’s memory. He made her feel that she was not alone. That she also deserved to be cared for. That she was also precious.
Helena felt Matteo’s arms slowly let her go. His touch, the feel of his hands, warm and urgent, was the healing contact that she had needed—perhaps had always needed.
When he released her, Matteo took a step back from her as well. This confused her. Why was Matteo moving away? She studied his face and saw a sadness in his eyes that she had never seen in him before.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Matteo spoke first.
“I shall offer for Chastity.”
Helena looked blankly at him, as if the words he spoke were that of another language entirely.
“Marrying Chastity will save her from the shame of the scandal. Her being married shall end the gossip.”
“What?” Helena could barely form the single word.
“Someone must fix this,” Matteo continued calmly. “And I can.”
The words finally settled in Helena’s mind. A sudden, sharp pain took her breath away. Stunned, Helena stumbled back, her arms on her abdomen, as if struck there.
“Do- do you have feelings for Chastity?”
Matteo looked her in the eye, his gaze intense.
“You know that I do not, and that I will never have, Helena.”
“Then why?” Helena asked, her voice strangely hoarse. “Why…”
“I am not deserving of you, Helena. I am gravely lacking in many aspects. But in this, I have something to offer. This, I can do.” Matteo spoke with a fierce look in his eyes now, as if he needed her to understand every word he uttered. “Chastity must come first, this I vowed to you. If that entails marriage to her so thatshe may be saved from disgrace, so that she is secured in her future, then I shall see it done.”
A sudden understanding swept over Helena, and it brought her sadness as it did tenderness for him.
He is doing this for me. He is protecting Chastity, my sisters, and my family. The ones I hold dear. He is doing this for me.
“It is a choice that I make freely,” Matteo said, softer now.
Without knowing it, Helena moved back and away from him. Her hands moved to her heart.
He is letting me go.
“Matteo.”
“I shall leave you now.” Matteo bowed. “I shall be back to speak to your father when he is himself returned.”
They looked at each other silently for a long moment. The small distance between them seemed like an entire ocean.
Without another word, Matteo turned and left. She watched him until he disappeared into the house, then, in her mind, saw him walk out the front door of Huntington House and away from her.
Her hand pressed hard against her chest. She never knew one could feel physical pain from heartbreak. She walked quietly on the bench and sat down, wondering how she could lose something—someone—that was not really hers in the first place.
“Matteo,” she whispered.
I must let you go. As you have let me go.
How funny that they never really belonged to each other to begin with. She wiped at the silent tears that flowed down her cheeks.
When Helena returned to the house, her face was blank. The only sign of emotion was her eyes, red from tears. She went straight to Chastity’s chambers and knocked. When no answer came, she tried the handle and was surprised to find that it was unlocked. She opened the door, and there, sitting by the window, was Chastity.
