Putting her hand in his, Helena walked with Matteo to the dance floor. Matteo could feel the significant difference in her touch. Where her hand had met his, palm against palm, now there was nothing but the lightest touch. It made him feel the distance that they had agreed to start portraying between them. They were, both of them, very good performers, it seemed.
“Was I correct in assuming that you did not wish to dance with Mr. Addison?” Matteo asked almost as an afterthought.
“I did not, you are correct,” Helena replied. “Mr. Addison seems a very good sort of man, but I seem not to have the social graces tonight. I only wish to fulfill my duties to Chastity tonight.”
“Yes, of course,”
He did not add that he found Mr. Addison’s continued attentions to Helena irritating. Though Matteo had to admit that there was nothing remotely inappropriate about his actions, he still irked Matteo somehow.
As they took their positions, Matteo leaned down towards Helena.
“Do not you worry, I can see your sister perfectly from here.”
“Thank you.”
The music started.
Matteo and Helena danced, performing the steps, following the turns and the exchanges, but neither of them spoke.
How different from the last time we danced.
Matteo controlled his hands so that they would not linger too long on her waist when the dance called for the contact. He controlled them so that they would not let her feel the heat that was his skin’s reaction to her. When the dance brought them close, facing each other, Matteo forced himself to look elsewhere. How fortunate that he kept watch over Chastity, for it gave him the perfect excuse not to look at Helena.
When the music was coming to an end, the last steps of the dance called for her hands to be held in his. Matteo was overcome with a sudden feeling of loss. So strong was it that he had a difficult time letting her hands go when the music ended.
What if this is the last time that I touch Helena?
Despite all his resistance, Matteo found himself grasping her hands harder. He studied her face. When Helena looked up and their eyes met, he knew that he could not let it end. He cleared his throat and found his voice.
“Helena.”
She bit her trembling lip and shook her head. Eyes bright with tears, Helena took a step back. It was the smallest of steps, but Matteo felt that it had brought them worlds apart. She was so close and yet also so distant.
He let go of Helena’s hands.
How was it that he was here again? Wanting more than was given. Matteo schooled his features. He could master these feelings. He must.
He breathed deeply and did what he did best. Play his role to perfection. He smiled at Helena.
“Perhaps some refreshments?”
“Chastity?” Helena touched her sister’s elbow. “We must prepare to leave in a few minutes.”
Chastity who had still been with her friends, turned to Helena.
“So soon?” A somewhat panicked look reflected on Chastity’s face. She glanced at the clock by the entrance to the ballroom, which read a quarter past the hour of one. “It is still early. Why must we leave so soon, Helena?”
Admittedly, it was still early to be leaving a ball, but Helena had felt that she could take no more of the night. She felt too much with Matteo around her, and she feared that if she stayed with him longer, she would not hold her ground.
But the look of disappointment and open displeasure on Chastity’s face had Helena remembering what she was there for in the first place. She was being selfish.
Chastity must come first.
She would do it for Chastity.
“Alright, dearest. Let us stay longer if that is your wish.”
“Yes, it is,” Chastity said. Then, before turning back to her friends, she added, “Thank you, Helena.”
