“Perhaps not tonight. I think it wise for me to leave now. Good evening, Lady Helena.”
As soon as they entered Huntington House, Helena said a hasty good night to Chastity. Without waiting for an answer, she hurried to her bedchamber. She had no wish for her sister or anyone else to witness the tears that were forming in her eyes.
Once inside her chambers, she closed the door and leaned against it.
Matteo had never spoken to her in such a polite and nonchalant way as he did just then. It felt to her as if he had turned into a different person. But perhaps so did she. Perhaps this was the best way, to pretend that they had not formed this—this… She did not even know what to call it.
In the dimness of her rooms, she rubbed at the tears that streamed down her cheeks, berating herself. Had she never let her feelings for Matteo grow, had she stayed focused only on her sister, Chastity would not have become so distant, so secretive. And she would not be in such pain. She knew how their arrangement was to end. She had only herself to blame.
It is my fault.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The next few days seemed to pass by very quickly for Helena. And as if to testify to this, she felt extremely tired. On top of everything, Chastity had become even more withdrawn.
On Wednesday, Chastity had initiated a very rare conversation with her, and it was to ask why Matteo would not be able to accompany them to Lady Lister’s dinner and at Almack’s. Helena had chosen her words with care.
“I had thought to go by ourselves tonight.”
“Why?”
Because I have fallen for Matteo. Because all this has gone too far!
“Because we must not be so dependent on him.”
Of course, she had known that she would be asked where Matteo was and why he was not with them that evening. And indeed, did her predictions happen?
“Oh, the duke is not with you? How unfortunate.” Lady Lister had said, disappointment evident in her expression. “Well, no matter.”
Helena had pretended not to hear the gossip around her. They were, after all, reactions that she had predicted.
“…arrived without the duke.”
“…perhaps they are not as inseparable as it seemed…”
Instead, she had tried to focus all her energies on Chastity.
It seemed, as far as she could tell, that Lord Clifton had stopped pursuing her sister. But despite not seeing the gentleman’s presence in any of the events they had recently attended, Helena knew that she must never let her guard down.
As the evening had progressed and they had arrived at Almack’s, she could not help but wish that Matteo was there, not just to help her with Chastity but just to be there with her, beside her.
This evening would be the last social event that they would attend as a betrothed couple. Watching her reflection in the mirror as Sally piled her hair on her head, she knew that she had put in more effort on her appearance tonight compared to anyother night. Call it pride or vanity, but Helena thought that if this was to be their final meeting, then she wanted Matteo to see her at her best.
And so it was with gratification when she saw Matteo sweep his gaze over her. He had stared at her and, for the briefest time, seemed to have wanted to tell her something. But perhaps it was all in her imagination, for the very next second, he had very politely asked if they were ready to leave.
Matteo, Helena, and Chastity were announced as they entered the ballroom of Granger House, the Earl and Countess of Bracken’s London residence. As with their other ball appearances, they were greeted and approached by a multitude of people.
“There are three groups calling us over,” Matteo said. “Which group would you like to go to?”
None of them. I would prefer to be alone with you.
She crushed the stalwart thought and forced herself to concentrate on the choices.
“I see my friend, Cecily. Perhaps to her group.”
“As you wish, my lady.” Matteo bowed.
“Wait, no. She will have so many questions about us.”
