Abram frowned as he watched me, and for a moment I hated how gentle his expression was, how much genuine care lived there. Could he see how broken I was? Could he see how thoroughly he’d destroyed me without ever meaning to?
“Please, I wasn’t ever going to go find her, Elowyn. I want you.” He looked at me. “I know what that looked like, but I swear to the heavens it isn’t. I don’t remember much of today, but I doremember I was going to Della’s to tell her you’re my wife. Loma was there, and I can’t remember anything after.”
My breath hitched. I really was a fool to think he was mine.
“Are you listening to me?” He grabbed my face and kissed me. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t want to believe that you weren’t meant for me.”
I nodded as I spoke, voice trembling. “That is the truest thing you’ve ever said to me. I wasn’t meant for you,” I sneered to hide the way I was crumbling. “Leave me alone.”
Abram stared at me with horror in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he panicked. “Please, don’t leave. I don't want to lose you.”
He fell to his knees in front of me, gripping my waist, pressing his forehead to my stomach. His shoulders shook—silent, shaking sobs that tore something open inside me.
“We will talk in the morning.” I pulled away from him, turning my back so he wouldn’t see the anguish twisting across my face.
He stood slowly. When I turned, he stepped toward me, and I instinctively moved back. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out. “Please, don’t leave me. I will not survive without you.”
I couldn’t answer. If I did, I knew I’d fall apart completely. He waited for what felt like forever, but it was clear I wasn’t going to say anything to him. He left the room and shut the door softly behind him.
I sank to the floor, my chest heaving. I always thought my father had broken my heart. But if that were true, then why did Abram obliterate it so completely?
I had fallen in love, deeply, recklessly, completely, and fate took him away.
Now I was cursed to a lonely life—and worse…I would spend eternity remembering the man who never chose me.
Chapter 18
Abram
Icould hear her crying softly from the bedroom. I’d only made it two steps from the door before her quiet sob froze me in place. Part of me wanted to turn around and comfort her, but the other part knew she was right. I wasn’t supposed to want her. She was never supposed to be mine.
So why couldn’t I let her go? My mating bond should have made me not care that she showed up to dinner and saw me with Loma. I shouldn’t have felt relief and happiness when she said she loved me. I should have let her walk away. I told myself that over and over, like repetition might make it true.But the thoughts alone burned at my chest. My soul didn't want to let Elowyn go.
I pressed my forehead to the door, breathing through the ache in my ribs. Her devastated face flashed behind my eyes, over and over, like my mind was punishing me for not stopping her. For not saying the right thing. For saying everything wrong.
I’d hurt her. I’d hurt her in front of everyone. I’d watched the light drain out of her eyes and still hadn’t known how to fix it.
I told myself I could fix it. That I could show her, prove to her, that she was all I wanted. But the words felt thin even in my own head. What if she didn’t believe me? What if I’d already destroyed something I couldn’t get back? What if it didn't matter what I said anymore?
I sat against the bedroom door so I’d wake up if she tried to leave. Maybe some magical words would come to me through the night. Words that could tell her how wrong this felt. That the thought of her leaving me felt like I was dying. I reached for the key to her coven around my neck but remembered she’d taken it from me.
I didn’t deserve it. Tears stung my eyes as her devastated face flashed in my mind again. Everyone in her life had let her down, and I swore I’d never be one of them… and still, somehow, I’d become the worst of them all.
I was a piece of shit.
How could I let myself lose track of time like that? I’d been so excited to go with her—to finally stand beside her and tell her coven that I was her husband.
It felt right to say. Too right. There was something primal in it, something possessive, a need to claim her so deep it made my veins buzz. And now that memory twisted in my chest, sharp and cruel, because I’d taken that moment from her without ever meaning to.
Are you that embarrassed of me?
Her words gutted me all over again.
I hated that she thought that. Hated that I’d made her question herself. I should have never let her doubt her worth—not for a second. And yet I had. Publicly. Completely.
