My stomach turned.
“Philip told me Farris took it,” Ezra continued, voice flat with disbelief. “Said letting her go was a mistake. That she’s dangerous.” A bitter laugh escaped him. “And I—” He closed his eyes. “I lost control. I got so fucking angry that I consumed them.”
The air felt heavier.
“Consumed them?”
“If I consume a soul,” he said quietly, “they don’t move on. They don’t exist. Not in any realm. Not in any life. They’re just… gone.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging it roughly. “This is what she does to me,” he whispered. “She makes me feel out of control.”
He shook his head, a shudder passing through him.
“I asked her about it,” he added quietly. “When she woke. She denied it at first. Swore she had no idea what he was talking about.”
His jaw clenched. “Then she admitted it. Said she took the magic, but wouldn’t tell me why.”
His hands curled into fists. “She was still lying to me, and I fucking lost it.”
“She started crying. She kept saying she was sorry, asking me to forgive her for everything, and she reached for me.” His throat tightened, a catch in his voice.
“It’s alright, Ezra, you’re upset. You’re allowed to be upset.” I tried to steady the trembling lump in my chest, my hands balling into fists at my sides.
But his shoulders slumped, weighed down by something heavier than regret.
“It made me feel good to see her crying and broken. I thought she deserved to feel how I do. So I told her I’d never forgive her, in this life or any life that follows. I told her I hated her.”
He fell to his knees in front of me, sobbing loudly. My chest constricted, a raw ache pressing against my lungs as I watched him unravel. Quickly, I fell to my knees in front of him and pulled him into a hug. My arms wrapped around his trembling body, clinging to him as if holding him close could mend the cracks in his heart.
“It’s alright, Ezra,” I whispered, voice low and shaky.
He shook his head violently. “You didn’t see her face. I didn’t hurt her, I fucking annihilated her. She looked at me like I was a monster, and I didn’t stop. I unloaded years of hurt and anger on her. And now, every time I close my eyes, I see that look, that pure, raw devastation, and it’s like I’m being torn apart right alongside her. I don’t know how to make it right.”
“So you’ll apologize.” My words were soft, fragile, carrying the weight of hope I barely felt.
“I can’t!” He pushed away and stood, fists curling at his sides, jaw tight. “I left the room trying to calm down, and when I went back she was gone.”
“Gone?” My heart stuttered in my chest, a sharp stab of fear tightening my stomach.
“Disappeared. I’ve been searching for her, but it's like she vanished into thin air, like she never existed.” His voice was hollow, carrying the echo of his devastation.
He turned back to me, eyes wide, panic-stricken.
“What if she is still sick, and I’m not there to take care of her? What if I never see her again? I didn’t mean it. I was just angry at her. I just wanted her to feel a fraction of the godsdamn torment she put me through.”
I took a tentative step forward, trying to bridge the chasm of despair between us. My chest ached with the weight of it all.
“We’ll find her,” I promised, my voice small but trembling with certainty I didn’t entirely feel, as if repeating the words could somehow make them real.
“I’m back to the days before I met her. Back to wondering why no one wants me. Back to when I dreamed of loving someone so much that they’d never be able to walk away from me because I’d love them so thoroughly that they’d never go looking for someone else.”
His hands trembled as he spoke, curling into fists before falling open again like he didn’t know what to do with them. The raw ache in his tone sank into my bones. I’d seen gods bleed before, but never like this—never from something that couldn’t be healed.
“Ezra…,” I whispered, but it felt useless.
“I always told myself that if I would’ve told her that she was my mate, it would’ve changed all of this. That she would’ve stayed and loved me back eventually. But she knew. Abram, she fucking knew and still thought I wasn’t good enough to stay.”
His voice cracked mid-sentence, and he dragged a shaking hand through his hair. He looked like a man hollowed out, stripped of every bit of arrogance and divinity until only despair remained. My throat tightened.
