Was he thinking about me at all? Or had his memories already been overwritten by the woman the gods intended for him?
You are torturing yourself, quit.
"I can't help it," I whispered.
Nyxthra sighed annoyed in my mind.
I sipped my tea and tried to imagine a life where he loved me back. A life where fate had been kind. Part of me was furious with myself for ever falling for him; the other part was grateful I got to feel something so powerful—even if it was tearing me apart now.
None of it would matter eventually. I would die. This life would fade. Maybe in the next one, if the moon goddess had any mercy left, she would give me love that didn’t shatter me.I would be free from my mother's sins.
My throat tightened as a fresh wave of grief rolled through me. Even in all this pain, a piece of me was genuinely happy that Abram had found his mate, jealous, yes, but happy. He deserved a love that came effortlessly. He deserved the best parts of life.
I lifted my hand out of habit, reaching for the ring I always twisted when I was anxious… and stopped.
My finger was bare.
I watched the sun sink behind the mountains and wondered if Abram ever even tried to find me. Was he relieved when he woke up and I wasn’t there? It gave him a clean break—no impossible choice between his mate and the woman who should’ve never been in his bed. He wouldn’t have picked me anyway. Maybe leaving wasn’t noble at all. Maybe it was the only way I could survive it.
I pushed the thought away with a sharp shake of my head. The more I let myself linger on him, the more it felt like I was unraveling. With one last glance at the bleeding horizon, I stepped back inside. The cabin’s silence pressed in on me, suffocating, like the walls themselves were reminding me of everything I’d lost.
I walked into the kitchen out of habit, but the idea of food made my stomach twist. Instead, I turned toward my bedroom, toward the only place that didn’t require me to pretend I was fine.
I stripped out of my clothes and crawled into the cold, empty bed. The mattress dipped under my weight, and somehow that made the hollowness worse. How was I supposed to live like this—carved out, gutted, nothing left but echoes of something that was never mine?
Maybe if I slept long enough… maybe if I sank deep enough… the part of me that loved Abram would finally go quiet.
Chapter 20
Abram
Icouldn’t find her.
My chest ached as I came home to an empty house. Every time I left, I convinced myself she would be here when I returned. That this was all some cruel mistake. That I would wake up from this fucking nightmare and find her exactly where I’d left her.
But the house stayed silent.
Her presence lingered anyway—caught in the air, pressed into the walls, clinging to everything I touched. It made the emptiness worse. Tears burned behind my eyes as I stared at our bedroom door. I hadn’t slept in there since she left. I wasn’t sure I ever could again.
I pushed the door open.
The absence hit me like a blade to the lungs. I couldn’t breathe past it. The bed was still made, untouched, like it was waiting for someone who would never come back.
“Please come home, Elowyn,” I whispered into the quiet.
Her wedding ring sat exactly where she’d left it.
I approached it slowly, like it might scorch me if I reached too fast. When I finally picked it up, my hands shook. I slipped it onto my pinky, the weight of it wrong and perfect all at once.
I couldn’t do this without her.
And for the first time since she’d vanished, the truth settled heavy in my chest. She hadn’t just left.
She’d erased herself from me.
I used my star mist to go to Della’s home and pounded on the door until it swung open to a shirtless Haden.
“Abe?” He glanced around like I might have found Elowyn. “What’s wrong?”
