“No. I don’t need you to pretend to care about me, Ardella. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say about my mate, the mate you murdered.”
Tears formed in my eyes.
“Do you know what it is like to fall asleep in a lonely bed that you used to share with your soulmate and wake up to a never-ending nightmare? Remiah is all I think about. When I am awake, our memories flood my mind, and when I sleep, my mind pictures the life we would have if you didn’t ruin everything you fucking touch.
“You took everything from me, and you have no idea what it is like to live after you lose your fucking mate and have no way to join them in the next life. Did you know I gave her my star? I was supposed to see her the next morning, and I was going to tell her what she was to me. I was going to mark her, and you fucking took her away hours before I got everything I ever wanted.”
“Mikel…”
“The heavens must be so disappointed in you. How could they make such a cold, heartless bitch the Goddess of Life? You destroy everything you touch. Maybe they will punish you by taking away your mate so that you know what this feels like. You are a reminder of everything I fucking lost. I hate seeing you. I hate knowing that you are walking around, alive, and my mate died at your hands. If you needed a soul to send along, then maybe you should have given up yours. The heavens above know it, and so does anyone who is around you for more than a few days. You are undeserving of anything. You're evil. You probably don’t even possess a soul.”
His words crushed me, but I did not have an argument. I was only comforted by knowing that I would be getting her back for him.
“If I could bring her back, I would,” I whispered.
“Shut up!” he yelled so violently that the walls shook. “I don’t want to hear you say anything. You aren’t sorry. I see you sneaking out of here day after day. I see you smiling. I see you being happy, and you don’t deserve it.”
"Mikel,” Pia’s voice drifted from behind him. He looked at her and glared.
“I hope whoever is taking the gods fucking takes you, and I never have to see you again,” he spat toward me before walking off. I waited until I didn’t hear his footsteps before I started crying softly. Pia rushed to me and grabbed me in a tight hug.
“Mikel doesn’t understand, Della, because he doesn’t want to. He needs you to be the bad guy in this whole situation because if you aren’t, then he has to face the truth of how he failed Remiah. He should have marked her so no harm would come to her.”
“Maybe I should tell him that Haden is my mate. Maybe that would make him understand that I never meant to hurt him. But I also know what it is like to feel what he is. When Haden died, I thought I would die; I wanted to die. Nothing made me feel better. And I know deep in my heart that him knowing that Haden is my mate would make no difference. I hate myself for the harm I caused him. He is destroyed and heartbroken. I deserve his hatred.”
Pia went rigid against me. When I looked at her, her eyes were focused on the door. I turned to see Mikel listening to our conversation. My heart pounded wildly in my chest as I waited for him to say anything. His eyes were wide as he watched me.
“He’s your mate,” he whispered.
“Yes.” I nodded. There was no turning back now, so I let it all out. “He was the man I fell in love with—the one that died. He was reborn, and the heavens gave him to me as a mate.”
Mikel’s face fell as he realized that I could never let my mate die. Mikel stared at me like he had never seen me before. His eyes filled with tears before he turned from us and walkedaway without a word. It was almost worse to not have him acknowledge this new information at all. I wanted him to tell me he understood or yell at me that he didn’t care. I needed to know where his mind was with this news. Not knowing was going to eat me alive.
“Well, I guess that takes care of that,” Pia sighed.
“I don’t know if that was a good or bad thing.” I watched the doorway, wondering if he was going to come back, but he never did.
“I’m going to go stay with Haden for a few days. I’ll be back.” I smiled softly to hide the terror I felt. I would not be back.
“Have fun,” Pia said as she walked out of my room.
I grabbed a few changes of clothes and headed for Haden’s room. When I got there, Haden was waiting for me. He immediately walked over to me, pulled me into a hug, before kissing me.
“I know you promised you were coming back, but I really didn’t think you were.”
“I will always come back to you,” I said, meaning that I would find him again if I died.
I reached up and rubbed the hair off his forehead. Gods, he was handsome. Haden smiled as he leaned down and kissed me again.
“Are you sure everything is alright?” he whispered. “You can tell me if you are angry with what I said.”
“I’m fine. I know you didn’t mean it. Well, I know that this side of you did not, and I know that I deserve the hatred from the other side of you.” I swallowed hard as his stormy eyes stared into mine. He was looking for any reaction that would let him know I was lying.
“He still loves you too, but he is angry that he does.”
“Maybe one day I can get his forgiveness, but I suppose if I can’t at least I still have you.”
Haden stared at me for a long moment, and I knew he was suspicious of me. Maybe I should have pretended to be upset with him and what was said. But in all honesty, our time was limited, and I didn’t want to waste it with fake anger.
